Familyfriends

Taken the weekend before we left America.  Hannah and I were both about 17 weeks pregnant.

My big brother, how I love and miss him!!

Familyfriends are people who are your family but who are also your friends.  It's been eight months since I last hugged these two.  It feels like forever.  I so miss the sweet friendship we shared for the years we were close by each other.  It started before we left for Mexico, the first time Brad brought Hannah out to lunch with our family after church one Sunday.  After that, the four of us clicked.  Sometimes I still look at photos of them and can't believe they are really married but I'm so glad they are.  Do you know what it is like to have familyfriends?

When we were kids, I remember my brother getting so excited about going to Six Flags as a family.  So much so, actually, that he'd make himself sick with excitement.  (He's not going to be happy about me announcing that to the world.)  That's just about how he was the day Hannah was flying into Mexico to join us for a month in May of 2010.  He was giddy!  And so was I because I knew a proposal was coming soon thereafter.

Us at our favorite place to eat in Cancun, California Pizza Kitchen.... How 'bout some caramel pecan cheesecake, Hannah??

....And the other side of the table.

We had her completely fooled and she was shocked when he popped the question.  A year later, they were married and the rest is history.  But for the sake of memories, I'm recounting history to illustrate how much I miss them.  After they married, they moved to Charleston which was a lovely weekend destination for us.  We'd pack up every couple of months and go hang out with them for the weekend in their cute little studio apartment.  Our lazy weekends consisted of fake poker, basketball, sweets, beach, food, sleep, sweets, shopping and did I mention food?  It was heaven.

At our favorite place to eat in Charleston, Kickin' Chicken, with our other brother, Eric. ;)

And cheesecake to go!

We like cheesecake.

Lazy weekend snuggles 

Kyle's first dip in the ocean

Then they moved to Columbia and were even closer.  We went up there even more regularly to hang out, especially when Jono needed to use the library at CIU for his seminary papers.  Often times my other brother, Ryan, would join us, also.  Hannah always greeted us with something wonderful for dinner.  Then we'd go to Nestle Tollhouse every time we were together to demolish giant cookies with loads of icing between them.  Makes me want some right now.  I'll have to make some... soon.  We always had a big breakfast on Saturday morning before hitting the pool or mall or just sitting around in the living room.

The last time we went to visit, I was still so sick with Ellee.  I called my brother and told him I hoped he'd clean the toilets and he said he already had just for me.  Jonathan had to spend a whole day at the library and we hung out at their apartment.  We did venture out for lunch at our favorite, Jimmy Johns, but I only made it through about a fourth of my sub. It was so very bittersweet knowing it would be ages before we'd be able to hang out like that again.  Hannah and I laid on the couch, both pregnant with itty bitty bellies, talking about babies and life.  

Kyle preferred ice cream to cookies but he just didn't know any better at the time.  We'll teach him.

Cookies and coffee

It's memories like the sweet ones I have of spending time with our familyfriends that make it easier to be so far away.  But what wouldn't I give to be with them this weekend, trying to beat the ever lucky Hannah in poker or devouring a giant Double Trouble cookie after a delightful supper?  Or sitting with my feet in my brother's lap as he rubbed them on and off as his focus alternated from rubbing to football back to rubbing?  It is so hard sometimes to be on the other side of the world.

Now we both have new babies and can't wait for them to meet!  Since we are planning to go back to the US for missions conferences next spring, we are looking forward to crashing their new town home with our now family of four for old times sake.  You can bet we'll eat cookies and try to steal each others poker chips and visit long into the night after the cousins have gone to bed.  

I love you both so much and can't wait to squeeze your necks again!

~Abby

Wishy Wishy Washer Woman

When Jonathan and I first were married and lived in Illinois for 6 months before moving to Mexico, I went to the laundry mat every Thursday to do our wash.  It cost about $10 maybe $12 a week to wash and dry our normal three loads.  We used our change tips from Cracker Barrel so it never really affected the budget as we never counted our change tips.  I didn't thoroughly enjoy hauling all our laundry from the apartment into our car, driving down a few streets, hauling it all into the building and sitting there awaiting the bell signal telling me I could go back home.  But with coffee brewed and a plethora of magazines, I made the best of it.... often chatting on the phone to my mom or best friend.  

Upon moving to Mexico, we were delightful to find that there was a washer and dryer on the same floor as the small apartment we were renting.  It meant braving the wind and sometimes rain to go change around our clothes, but it beat hauling to the laundry mat for sure.  I did laundry every Friday.

Then, when we moved to SC, a thoughtful friend offered us a washer and dryer for free about a month after we moved into our apartment.  I thought I was in heaven.  A real, working set of laundry appliances there in my own home.... I couldn't believe it.  And I appreciateded them because I had spent two years doing without.  I was sad to say goodbye, but thankful we could pass them along to my brother and SIL when we left.  

We got to Kenya in January and quickly learned that laundry at Africa Based Orientation was either done by my hands or someone else's.  After getting gyped by the laundry lady everyone else was using (I hate getting gyped),  we decided to do it on our own.  Having never washed more than a barely soiled shirt by hand before, I sat observing how the Kenyan students washed their laundry before we dug into our own filthy, dusty clothes.  It was then that I got my first hand-washing blisters.  We did hand wash through our home stay and in the village we stayed in for three weeks after that. 

Then we moved here where I've had a lady doing our laundry for the past few months.  However, knowing how much work it is, I deliberately tried to keep as much out of the weekly wash as I could.  I'd be willing to bet there are items of clothing I've been wearing since we got here which have yet to be washed.  If it didn't stink, have spaghetti sauce on it, or look like it'd been dragged through the sand box, it went back in the closet.  Well, our working relationship didn't go so well (for some reason unbeknownst to me) and the washing lady quit a couple weeks ago.  So, I was left to do it myself.  I am more convinced than ever that I don't know how the local people here do it.  A washing machine here in the capital is no unusual thing, but up in the mountains, and certainly in the villages, all the laundry is done by hand.  I can't fathom it, really.  My fingers and wrists hurt just doing the little bit I've been doing to keep up over these past few weeks.

I started using cloth diapers two months ago knowing I'd be left to wash them by hand.  I certainly wasn't going to add them to the laundry lady's load.  So, I (along with my mom and sis while they were here) have been washing, wringing, rinsing, wringing, wringing, wringing diapers for the past two months.  I knew going into it I'd be doing it and it wasn't so bad, really.  I had my normal routine every night.  Regardless, I was desperate for a washing machine.

When a local friend announced she was moving I asked her if she still had her washing machine for sale.  She did and I immediately told her I wanted it!  It has been sitting in our downstairs for a while now, because there wasn't any easy place to hook it up in the apartment we're living in currently.  But, after a little detective work, we found a reasonably simple solution.  A failed call to a plumber who tried to charge us out the nose set us back a week or so.  Eventually, however, we got in touch with another local missionary who knows all about plumbing.  He and Jonathan have spent the past few days working it out and buying the necessary hardware.  They installed most of it Sunday and Jonathan finished it up Monday after retrieving a couple more parts from the builder's store.  

I am thrilled.  I'm totally stoked!  I feel like no one loves their washing machine as much as I love mine.... although it's probably not true.  The fact that it takes up a large space in the kitchen doesn't bother me a bit.  I'm just entertained sitting there watching it swish and swirl my clothes to cleanliness!  I'm about to go put some extra pre-paid water on the meter and wash everything in the house!

This is the African me.  Can't believe I'm putting this photo into cyberspace.

Now I'm left to wash in the bathtub what the bathtub was purposed for in the first place.

~Abby

2 Months of Baby Love

Sugar lips

Two month birthday

Is that a wink?

Sweetie girl was two months old yesterday; where did time go?  She is just as squeaky and snuggly as she was the day she was born.  I am so utterly and completely in love.

First Sunday at Church... She slept the whole way through shhh don't tell.

She weighed 9 pounds a month ago. How's that for updated information? I haven't taken her to a Dr as of yet.  We only know she was 9 lbs because she graced the ER with her presence as soon as Lollee arrived in South Africa.  She had cried and screamed all day and we decided while around decent healthcare we ought to get her checked out.  Ever since her umbilical cord fell off when she was less than 2 days old, her belly button hadn't looked right.  The day she spent wailing we noticed it was looking even worse.  Infection is sort of a nightmare for a mom so we headed back up to the hospital where she was born.  Anyways, turns out she has an umbilical hernia and we hope it will resolve itself before she's three so she doesn't require surgery.  I don't know if it has anything to do with her cord coming off so early - doubt  it.  Either way, the Dr said it shouldn't be causing her any pain and it didn't really seem to be as she wasn't any worse off when we messed with it.  Apparently she just had a terrible belly ache.  But. at least we know and were able to see what she weighed. :)

Afternoon snuggles watch Green Gables with Lollee and Lacy

Her rolls seem to multiply daily and I love it.  Kyle wasn't this round at this age so I find myself just squeezing her thighs to smile at how squishy she is.  She has the softest head of hair and so far is hasn't come out.  Here's to hoping it won't.  It is getting thicker and I even managed to get a bonified bow in it.  I love dressing her up and wish I could find more bows out here but alas I'll have to keep looking.  I have put away almost all of her newborn clothes and we're moving into 0-3 months.  She's rocking cloth diapers which make her bum ginormous so the poofier the pants, the better.

Boots to match Mama

She still eats all the time but we're down to one feeding in the night.  Usually she wakes up at between 2-3 to eat and then sleeps again until 6 and again until 7 or 730.  It is nice to have the feeding equipment attached because it means I only have to brave the cold house for a bathroom run before returning to the still warm bed.  I'm downing a minimum of 1.5 liters of water a day and Ellee is not going hungry.  By the time the sun comes up she's really feisty and so ready to prop up and watch the world.  So, I set her head on my shoulder and sometimes keep dozing until Big Brother waltzes in the room.  She is still sleeping with me and I don't mind it too much.  My shoulders sort of ache from how I have to position myself but oh well.  I sleep well knowing she is warm.  She does grunt an awful lot but I think I've gotten so used to it I don't notice it anymore.  Plus by that time I'm so tired I could almost fall asleep standing up.

Saying bye to Lollee and Lacy at the airport

Smiles and coos are increasing more and more and we have a blast interacting with her.  I love hearing her little gurgly voice.  Jonathan and I have decided that if she ends up chattering as much as Big Brother does, neither he nor I will never get a word in again.  Kyle insists on holding her often and smothers her head with kisses.  She tolerates that for a bit before voicing her disapproval of her hair being smeared with sticky boy face.  Such a girl.

Morning cuddles with Big Brother

I cherish her like the treasure she is.  Happy two months my sweetie girl.  You are a delight!

~Abby

Servant's Heart

Those two words so aptly describe my dad.  Without rival, he is the most selfless person I know.  I can look back throughout my life and see where he has willingly and happily given up his time, money and energy to invest in his children.... and grandchildren.  On this Sunday afternoon in Lesotho, Africa I am wading through priceless memories with the man who mirrored Christ to me as I grew up in his home.

Hardly a night went by throughout my childhood when my dad, who worked a steady and sometimes draining job, did not read to me, play a game with me, pray with me and tuck me into bed.  As an exhausted mother now, I value those memories because I know what a sacrifice they were.  My dad probably would've loved to have sat on the couch in the evenings watching sports or reading a book.  But he didn't.  He came home from work and played with me, invested in me, helped me with school and taught me the truths of the Bible.  Summers were filled with frequent trips to the pool and lake where he would play with me in the water and pull me and my siblings in a tube.  He even taught me how to water ski at the ripe young age of... I don't know... 8 or so?  That takes skill.  He thought not of himself but rather of his family and was committed to being present in our lives any chance he had.

Looking back, some of my favorite memories are of the countless hours my dad spent walking around neighborhoods with me, letting me knock on doors and try to raise money for various charitable causes.  I remember thinking that was so much fun and running back to him after leaving someone's front door, excited to tell him what donation I received.  But, now I wonder what he thought?  Wouldn't he rather have been at home watching a football game?  Or doing necessary yard work?  Or taking a much needed nap?  If he was ever preoccupied with the things he needed to do, I never knew it.  He joyfully walked around nearly every neighborhood in my hometown with me and I know he earned jewels in his crown doing so.

I used to love going with him to my brothers' basketball games and I remember cheering so loudly at a few of them, I lost my voice.  Sometimes my mom would stay home with my other siblings and just my dad and I would go together.  My dad was the coach and when I was the only other kid with him, he would let me sit on the bench with him and the players.  He also coached my basketball team the one year I tried it out for myself.  After getting the ball and shooting it at the wrong goal (fortunately it didn't go in), I gave up on the sport and resolved to just enjoy watching my brothers instead.  I remember him introducing me to some of his favorite songs from the Christian radio station and cruising along to the games in his (extremely) modest ride enjoying them.  And I remember sometimes being able to talk him into a cheap McDonald's burger after a late basketball game.  

My dad was patient with me as I stumbled through my teenage years and despite the times that I destroyed his trust in me, by God's grace we were able to rebuild it.  By the time I was introduced to Jonathan, he apparently trusted my judgment....

I distinctly remember the day I told my dad I had begun writing Jonathan.  It had only been a couple days since I first heard from the guy I'd never met in Mexico and at that point he was nothing more than an acquaintance.  Regardless, I thought it necessary to clue him into the situation.  I told him in a doctor's office that I was writing this guy south of the border and that he was nine years my senior.  From then on my dad nick named him 2-6, since Jonathan was 26 and I was 17.  As our correspondence increased and deepened, my dad stayed in the know.  One night my parents and I sat looking through family photos and videos of the St.Clairs and it was obvious that my dad recognized the seriousness of the situation.  So, it came as no surprise to him when Jonathan wrote asking his permission to begin an official relationship with me.  My dad's response to that message in not these exact words was, "I think you two are going to get married."   We were engaged after my dad took the bull by the horns and didn't even wait for Jonathan to ask for my hand in marriage.... he just gave me away!  Maybe he was trying to get me off the budget but....  I'm still on it!   Thanks for your support, Dad!  :o)

In the hotel room before leaving the US in January.  He wept as he hugged me goodbye and as a parent, I know it is a sacrifice to send your child off even for a cause you wholeheartedly believe in.

I choked back tears as I stood beside my dad before he walked me down the aisle.  He had been a wonderful protector of me and I knew I could always trust him.  He had invested in my life and shown me love until I was introduced to the man who would take his place.  He wept as we danced together at my wedding and as a parent, I know it is a sacrifice to give your daughter away even to a man you love like a son.

Now in my married life, I value him and the example he was to me as a parent.  He has supported me fully in my decision to pursue mission work.  He gave selflessly of himself as we lived down the road from my parents and he often took care of my son while we raised our support to come to Africa.  He cared for Kyle during my three months of miserable pregnancy sickness with Ellee.  He spent most of our family vacation back in November chasing Kyle around as I was unbelievably sick and Jonathan was smothered with seminary requirements.  It brings tears to my eyes to think of him coming into my room on that vacation to take and clean my up-chuck bucket because I was unable to even get up to do it myself.  He has a servant's heart.  He thinks of others before himself.  He makes sacrifices without even thinking twice about it.  Like sharing his ice cream sandwich with his grandson....

Kyle snuggles just before we left the US.

Hugging Kyle one last time in the hotel room in Atlanta before we departed.

I cherish him in my life and I miss him terribly.  

Can't wait to see you again, Dad!  Come visit me in Africa!

~Abby

Ellee Renée

I don't know what made us settle on arriving in Bloemfontein May 22nd, but it was the plan all along.  Trying to aim two weeks before Ellee's due date, we decided the least stressful thing would be to go ahead and come to allow us a little time to settle in before she made her appearance.  Even so, we opted to come sixteen days early, and I really have no idea why.  It's a good thing, though, because Ellee barely waited until two weeks before her due date.  

As we arrived in Bloem from Maseru on Wednesday around lunch time, there was a distinct increase in the pressure I was feeling in my pelvis.  Although the journey was only about two hours, I thought it must have been from sitting still in the car. So we proceeded to eat our lunch, and I didn't even mention it to Jonathan.  By Wednesday evening I was feeling some "pain", or discomfort rather, and began trying to discern what it was I was experiencing exactly.  Although it was the first "pain" I had felt in the pregnancy that even hinted towards labor, I didn't think it would continue because I was still sixteen days out from my due date.  Because Kyle came five days after his due date, I was pretty convinced all my babies would make late arrivals.  I was prepared to be in for the long haul with Ellee as well.  I mentioned the discomfort I was feeling to Jonathan,  telling him that although it felt like nothing compared to the labor I experienced with Kyle, it was the same sort of sensation, and I hoped it would either progress or just go away so I could sleep.

I did sleep for about four hours before waking up to bothersome minor contractions that were coming between 7-10 minutes apart.  The intensity was still almost nothing compared to what I felt with Kyle; I was pretty determined they would cease before long.  After timing those and Skyping my mom and pregnant sister-in-law in the middle of the night, I decided I ought to try to sleep again just in case they did progress as Thursday continued.  I dozed on and off between annoying contractions and finally woke up for good that morning, tired and nervous that Ellee was really going to come before Aunt Lacy had a chance to make it here.  The contractions continued sporadically throughout the morning, but they were still pathetic on the labor pain scale.  We visited the hospital that morning to drop in on friends of ours who were there due to a car accident.  I decided to pop into my doctor's office there at the hospital to see what he had to say.  He checked and told me I wasn't dilated at all which came as no real surprise to me.  I knew the contractions weren't real, intense labor pains by any means, but because I never had any "pre-labor" with Kyle, I wasn't exactly sure what was going on.  My doctor sent me down to L&D to be monitored for about half an hour and see what they had to say.  The nurse said the contractions weren't very strong at all and said I could go home and would likely be back. 

What else would a Daddy and little brother do while Mommy is being monitored but draw Simba?

Mommy knowing the contractions weren't doing anything and wanting to go home and eat lunch.

As soon as we left the hospital at about 2:30 PM, the intensity of the pain began to increase and continued steadily throughout the afternoon.  I alerted the guest house owner, Marian, that it didn't appear Lacy was going to make it in time to care for Kyle while I delivered, and so she would have to be on 2-year-old duty whenever we needed to go back to the hospital.  By 5:30 PM we were convinced a return trip to the L&D floor was imminent, so I began attempting to get things together between contractions.  When Kyle woke up from his nap, I tried to feed him some dinner.  I would run out of the room every few minutes to have a contraction before returning to shovel in another bite.  I didn't want him to see me in pain, but I also didn't want to leave him with someone he didn't know when just awake from his nap and with an empty stomach.  By 6:30 PM, I called Marian back and told her we were going to head for the hospital as soon as I could get everything together.  She immediately came to retrieve Kyle and we left for the hospital at about 7 PM.  

It was so different this time, trying to do everything on our own and also having a son to worry about.  When we got to the hospital and they checked me, I was 2 cm (pathetic, right?), so I hunkered in for a long night.  Ouch.  We decided to send Jonathan back to relieve Marian until he would put Kyle to sleep.  Poor Kyle was pretty uneasy as we left him so quickly and it made me even more tense knowing he had no clue what had just happened.  Staying alone in the hospital wasn't exactly my ideal situation, either, but we didn't see that we had much choice.  I sent Jonathan off with clear directions to keep his phone close just in case.  By the time he got back, I was at 5 cm and much happier with a numbing drug in my back.  I'll spare you the rest of the labor and delivery details but let's just suffice it to say I didn't push for the 1.5 hours I had with Kyle.

Epidural face

Ellee Renée was born at 1:29 AM on May 24th, barely two weeks before her due date, weighing 6 lbs, 7 oz and measuring 19 inches long.  My doctor didn't make it in time for the delivery because he was at home asleep like any normal person would be at that time of the night; the nurses didn't call him until Ellee had practically birthed herself.  Nevertheless, she arrived beautiful and healthy and my relief from being unpregnant was great.

I dare say the months of sickness I experienced until I reached 19 weeks in my pregnancy was the roughest experience I've faced thus far in my life.  Really I can't imagine going through that misery again.  Even so, the reward is so much greater than the pain I experienced in those months.  She is an angel baby and while I didn't think it possible, I love her just as much as I love my Kyle and I love him no less than I did before.

Thus far Ellee seems to have a fairly mild temperament, although at this point she is just sleeping her days away.  She is awake some of the time, and unless she's fighting a dirty diaper, she just looks around at the world and makes lots of little baby grunts.  Nursing is still going great. She took to it with even more ease than Kyle did.  We tried giving her a bottle of milk I had pumped the other day just to see what she would do.  She took to that fine as well.  She is sleeping curled up next to me at this point so we are only up once or twice a night for feedings since she is so snuggly warm.  I don't really want to sleep with her every night, but since it is so cold at night and we don't have heat, I feel like I don't have much choice through the winter.  I am a light sleeper so I don't worry as much about her sleeping with me as I would worry she is too cold sleeping alone.  I won't be looking forward to to training her to sleep in her crib once it starts to warm back up, but for now, I'll try to enjoy having a little bundle snoozing beside me.  I now know how quickly these sleepless early weeks fly by.  I'm doing my best to just enjoy the middle of the night feedings and getting shot at during diaper changes.

Being a mom the second time around is a much different experience as well.  I feel so much more at ease with her all around, from breast feeding to diaper changing, I just feel more confident that I know what I'm doing.  Of course, there are still plenty of things I don't know or have forgotten about Kyle's first weeks, thus I'm really thankful for Skype so I can ask my mom questions even from across the pond.  But, for the most part, it has been a really smooth transition between one and two children.  Jonathan and I make a pretty good team.  We both know, however, we'll be doomed with number three since we won't be able to each just have one to care for.  Yes, I did just mention "number three" and I'm only nine days from delivering the second.  I may just be crazy.

Kyle has surpassed all my expectations on the little brother front.  He immediately took to Ellee and he continues to drown her with hugs and kisses.  He says her name so sweetly, "Ellee Nay", and he is convinced that she "likes you."  She's probably pretty oblivious to the fact that she has a big brother, but I'd bet if she knew, she would like him.  He is a great little helper and eagerly takes her soiled diapers to the trash for me.  That's about all he can help with at this point since she only eats, sleeps and poops.  But, he does it with such a happy heart; he makes me so proud.

Kyle meeting Ellee in the hospital room

We miss our family and friends greatly and wish everyone could be together to share these special days.  We're thankful to now have one extremely helpful family member here, at least, lending us a very welcome hand during these early weeks.  Kyle is loving having Aunt Eee here to play with him, and I think it has helped him take Ellee's arrival smoothly since someone else is here to pay him some attention.  We also enjoyed a visit this weekend from friends from Tennessee, fellow missionaries who now live in Pretoria.  They took these beautiful photos for us and we are so grateful!

My heart is full and my eyes sweat sometimes when I look at my precious little girl and my silly little boy and thank God for the blessings He has given me.  I am so undeserving of such a privilege and I don't take it lightly.  My treasures, I pray I will be a good mother to you always.

~Abby

Mother's Day

An all time favorite of my mom and me, Sept '04 just after my 14th birthday

There isn’t much to say about my mom that hasn’t already been said by me or someone else.  She is a woman of integrity.  To list her all her many attributes would be a great undertaking but a few which come immediately to mind are fun, honest, disciplined, godly, helpful, kind, generous, creative, thoughtful and faithful. 

Throughout my life, I have observed her as a devoted wife and mother and she modeled for me a wonderful example of godliness in her role as homemaker.  I have fond memories of spending my childhood days with her, as she taught me school, or observing her as she sewed and cooked.  A few of my most precious memories are of the summers we went to camp together.  She has been steadfast for me throughout the many stages in my life.  And she has been a dear friend to me as I’ve entered into adulthood and I cherish her input into my life even now.  

Easter just before I got married, April '09

Without question, leaving her in January was the hardest goodbye I’ve ever said.  Knowing she was coming this summer dulled the ache in my heart slightly, but watching her wave goodbye through tears was just about as lonely as I’ve ever felt. 

I wish we could spend Mother’s day together tomorrow.  I can barely look at that photo of us without crying.  I miss her terribly but I’m so thankful for technology, which allows us to stay in touch.  And I can’t wait to see her in less than two months when she comes to meet my new baby!  I love you, Mom.  Thanks for all you taught and are still teaching me.  You are a treasure to me.

~Abby