Coffee with a Friend

Ellee turned four last week.  I am totally crazy about this girl.  She is so feisty.  She keeps me on my toes and stretches me far and wide.  But she loves generously.  She doesn’t ever withhold a compliment or word of affection if it pops into her little head.  She really is sugar and spice and I love her for it.  I hope she always keeps her spunk.

There are a million and one things I could share about her.  But I really was struck last night by how accepting and kind she is to anyone.  I went to get her from a neighbors’ house and found her sitting at their kitchen table, sipping coffee and munching chewy Basotho bread.  She was talking the ear off our neighbor’s shepherd.  It is winter, so the shepherd is back in Mokhotlong to be out of the harsh environment of the rural mountains.  During the summer, he lives alone way, way out in a small hut.  However, it is safer for him to spend winter here, because he has more access to heat sources and doesn’t run the risk of freezing to death if it snows.  During the winter, the shepherd goes off in the morning with the herd and doesn’t return until sundown.  When he gets the sheep and goats back into their corral for the night, he goes to the house kitchen for supper, which he typically eats alone.  He eats a massive portion, as he hasn’t eaten all day, and he isn’t shy about shoveling it in for that very reason.  After supper, he goes down to his own small house beside the corral and sleeps, only to do it all again tomorrow.  He does this routine every single day without exception.  He doesn’t speak a bit of English but that didn’t deter Ellee.  She was just jabbering away about how hungry he must be because he’d been gone all day.  And something about the sheep and goats and I don’t know what else.  I couldn’t help but smile at how opposite it looked, little Ellee with her french braided blonde hair, pink jeans and light up Minnie Mouse shoes in the chair beside a man who couldn’t be less like her.  The shepherd, although friendly, is very rugged.  He dresses in very traditional shepherd garb.  His clothes are well worn, his beard is scruffy, his thick blanket and heavy rubber boots quickly indicate that he spends his days quite isolated while he watches the herds graze on the hillside.  I would honestly expect Ellee to be a bit skittish around him.  Obviously I am wrong about her.  She left with me saying how he is her friend and she would finish her coffee tomorrow with him.  She didn’t want him to eat alone.  I don’t pretend to know or understand all the cultural morés here.  But I’ve heard and seen enough over my years here to know that shepherds are not generally accepted as friends by non-shepherds.  They do their jobs, but they are quite a separate part of society in most cases.  Not to Ellee though.  She hasn’t lived long enough to pick up on those social boundaries and I am glad.  

I hope she never allows her friendliness to be contained by social groups.  I hope she will always befriend the outcasts or those who are viewed as different or less important.  I hope she never cares if someone is black or white, rich or poor, educated or not.  I hope she always pulls up a chair and talks about life with another gentle, friendly soul.  I hope she never quits enjoying coffee with a friend.  I hope she never changes.

(Table Mountain, Cape Town RSA)

~Abby

18 Months

This week Ellee had a half birthday.  She’s changed so much since her first birthday.  Each day is a new adventure with her and I’m glad to experience it.  Even after falling head over heels for my boy, I never could have imagined the tender spot Ellee has found in my heart.  She’s everything I’ve dreamed of and more.  

The most notable development in Little Lady’s life over the past six months has been the long road to walking.  She’s stubborn.  She’s cautious.  She’s wobbly.  But she’s finally got it.  I never thought it would take her so long to figure it out.  Once she finally started standing and cruising around at 12 months, I thought within a couple months she’d be toddling around.  Boy was I wrong.  Just this week she has begun to switch from crawling to actually walking.  For speed and versatility she still prefers her hands and knees.  But she's learned that she can carry a lot more in her hands if she stands up.  One of her favorite pastimes is pushing a little chair around on the concrete floors, zooming from one side of the house to the other as fast as she can go.  It is loud and can be annoying, but it definitely helped her to gain some confidence in being upright.  She likes the stability that chair gives her and I just let her keep doing it.  We never invested in any “walking toys” for her.  But she has decided she enjoys taking her babies for a walk around the living room.  Or somethings she hauls the stroller and babies up the two steps into the dining room and kitchen and promptly stands up to take a stroll with them back and forth a few times.

Her baby dolls are probably her favorite toy right now.  She can’t quite shake the strong desire to make train, car and motorcycle noises like her brother.  But in general, she plays with her baby dolls most.  She pulls them out of their stroller and puts them back in any which way.  She brings them to me so I can feed them.  Smothering them with kisses and patting them on the back, I have to admit I’m really proud of her gentle spirit.  Until the inevitable happens and she throws one on the ground and picks the other up by her leg and shakes her relentlessly.  Then I’m reminded why God doesn’t give babies to babies.  Actually, I wonder sometimes why God gives babies to 24 year olds because certainly there are occasions when I’d also like to just get fed-up with my kids for not doing what I want….

Maybe by saying that I could get in trouble with the law but living where I live, I think they’d be hard pressed to hunt me down.  So I’ll just take this opportunity to mention that I would never actually hurt my kids but man alive do they know how to drive me nuts.

Kyle is easily her best friend.  They get along well for the most part and enjoy hours of playing together.  I know as she grows and gets more interactive, it'll only get more fun (and probably more difficult).  I already feel like a referee at times.  It's still sweet to watch them.

Reading books is how we like to pass our mornings and afternoons and evenings.  As if I need any help passing my hours, although I think Ellee thinks I do.  Ellee would be just about content to sit in my lap and nurse and read books all day long if I’d let her.  She can always find another book to read.  Sophie the Giraffe is a current favorite, along with “What Will You Wear Jessie Bear?”  and “The Wheels on the Bus.”  There are really too many to name.  We read books all day.  These days it’s a battle to get her to drink her milk in the morning before she wants to read a book.

She’s made leaps and bounds in the eating department lately.  Certainly she’d still prefer to nurse than eat anything resembling food, but I can usually get her to eat whatever is on the table.  She loves corn, although I’m not sure it loves her back.  She eats a lot of plain yogurt, cut up grapes, peas and carrots, avocados, bananas and pasta.  The girl loves pasta.  I don’t foresee weaning her anytime soon.  She’s still completely addicted to mama milk.  I feed her at least four times a day, sometimes five or six.  We barely fit in the rocking chair any more but it’s sweet nevertheless.  

New words come out of her mouth every day.  It’s thrilling to watch her figure things out.  In the past week or so she’s started saying: Ntate (which is what you call any man in Sesotho), hi, bye, no, cake, juice, Dada (finally!), Barby (Barney), snack, Kyle, bath paint, and who knows what all else.  She puts a couple words together, usually like book and night night.  Or bye-bye Mme.  Her newest word is fly.  I think it's not a typical word for an American child but it's definitely necessary for one living in Africa.  The problem is, she seems to really like flies.  I really hate flies.  I haven't tried to teach her that flies go, "buzz" because I prefer if flies go "splat".  It seems a bit morbid to teach her that.  She does seem awfully alarmed every time I smack one with my shoe.  I'll just let her figure that one out on her own.  Yesterday she was sitting on my bed and I started asking her to point to things.  She got eyes, ears, hair, nose, teeth, lips, chin, belly, hand and foot on the first try!  I was amazed.  We have not spent any time working on those things, she’s just picking them up in daily conversation and I am floored.  Obviously, I’ve watched this happen before.  But it’s still astounding to watch it again!  Oh if I could learn that fast I would be so much more intelligent than I am.

I really look forward to getting her out of her bed in the morning.  She is sleeping well these days and it’s nice to get a break from her all evening and night.  First thing in the morning she smells so sleepy and sweet.  I love what a mess her curls are and how wobbly her legs are as she stands in her crib.  It is exciting to know a new day is beginning with her, even if she can be exhausting at times.  I day dream of what sort of girl she’ll be and what sort of fun we’ll have together.  We have a sweet bond and there’s no denying that she prefers her mama.  Love that girl more everyday.

~Abby

Girl Weekend

Last weekend Ellee and I attended a missionary ladies’ retreat in South Africa. Admittedly, I dreaded trying to “retreat” with Ellee in tow. She is such a clingy monkey, doesn’t want to walk anywhere, and still very much addicted to nursing; I expected it wouldn’t end up being very retreat-ish at all. Nevertheless, trying to wean her for one quiet weekend away seemed a bit rash and leaving her behind unweaned with Jono and Kyle would’ve been nothing short of a nightmare for them. So along she came. I had no idea what to expect besides hearing that the retreat was very well done and there would be tons of food. Both insights were delightfully spot-on.

Our venue was a beautiful guest farm with cottages and rose gardens and stone walkways. It was like an oasis from real life. Upon arrival I learned that reception had decided to put the two of us in an available room, which meant we would be on our own. I cannot even express how relieved I was to hear that. While Ellee sleeps fine at home, she often stirs at night when we are away and I was so anxious about how she might interfere with our roommates’ rest. Having our own room made the whole experience exponentially more enjoyable. Aside from that, I believe the room we were in was one of the nicest on the farm! It was two traditional rondovals (round huts) connected together, the first a sitting room and the second the bedroom with an adjoining bathroom. The furniture was old-timey, beautiful wood and the bathroom had a standing tub and a fancy sink. There were rugs and carpet on the floors - a real treat - and the roof was thatched. We fell asleep to drizzling rain both nights. The baby bed they’d set up for Ellee was so squishy and comfortable that I would’ve enjoyed sleeping on it! My bed was heavenly as well, although I’m not used to sleeping in a big bed by myself these days. Both nights Ellee girl slept like a log and I didn’t do half bad myself. It was so special- the quiet in my room- knowing Ellee was there with me but also enjoying the peace of being alone.

Mornings began with hot coffee delivered on a tray to our door, and snuggles in my big bed while Ellee woke up and drank her milk. Her bright eyes are so darling in the morning, slightly puffy from good sleep and her hair a mess of curls in her face. She looks so snugly in her pretty jammies. I drank my coffee and Ellee ate her cookie in the bathtub while we (I) talked about what we were going to do that day. The farm cat, Wynford, was Ellee’s first request each morning. She loved visiting the “cat-kee” whenever we could find him. After bath time, I’d dress up my living doll and fix her hair complete with a tiny bow. She sat on my bed and played with whatever I gave her as I got myself ready. Then we would venture out of our little cottage for the day.  

Breakfast, lunch and dinner were served in a lovely dining room, each meal including no fewer than three courses; dinner had five or six! A bell was rung twice a day for tea time, first at 11:00 and again at 4:00, which was served alongside delicious baked goodies in a covered sitting area outside. We ate eggs and bacon, butternut soup and curried lamb and chocolate mousse and loads of other stuff. The homemade brown bread was fantastic and I know I ate too much of it! Ellee learned that she loves eating peas (which I never make) because they are perfect for little fingers to grab. She also likes lemon merengue pie and bran muffins and papaya.

The team of ladies from the States who came to facilitate our retreating really pampered us with chocolates, Bath & Body Works treats, and pedicures. They brought us taco seasoning and almond extract and maple flavoring and Hershey’s kisses. I love chocolate and new friends and new friends who bring me chocolate.

During Ellee’s nap times, I enjoyed worship and small group and Bible study with the other missionary ladies. When Ellee was awake, we often skipped the sessions and wandered around the farm visiting the bunnies, emus, and Wynford the cat. We sat in the lounge- a big living room with tons of fluffy couches and books and a sleeping kitty- to read books and practice walking and pet the feline. We walked around looking for the dog and at the birds and flowers.

Hauling around my lug of blonde curls was tough on my arms, but I’m so glad she was with me. I couldn’t help but fight back tears at what a sweet time we were having together. Every time I asked if she wanted to go do something, she agreed. I felt bad that I’d ever dreaded bringing her along. Even though it wasn’t as relaxing as it could’ve been alone, it was such a treasure to have her there. The only book we brought along from home was The Wheels on the Bus; I can’t remember how many times we read that silly book snuggled up in my bed. We made memories I’ll always cherish. Glad I had a tiny girlfriend to bring along to my getaway! Love that little lady.

~Abby

Edelweiss

How do I begin to sum up a year of joy with this gift from God?  This girl, this invaluable treasure, has sneaked her way into places deep within my heart - places which I didn't even know existed.  She is a dream come true, my daughter, my friend.

I couldn't count the number of times over the past year that I have replayed in my mind the hours and days surrounding Ellee's birth.  Oftentimes if my mind is spinning as I try to settle down to sleep, I'll just begin to focus on her birthday, the utter joy and excitement I felt as she surprised me and started coming early.  Holding Ellee in my arms as I rock her before her naps or bedtime,  I'll think about those early hours with her, just me and her, in the hospital.  She was so tiny, so warm and she made the softest, sweetest baby noises I had ever heard.  She captivated me during those early hours as she still captivates me now.

Within the last month, she has grown and changed by leaps and bounds.  After really fighting her to eat anything besides breast milk, she has finally taken to eating two reasonable meals a day.    She just eats bites of whatever I have for breakfast : cereal, oats, yogurt & fruit or an egg.  Lunch and dinner, though, I make her up some concoction of fresh cow's milk (albeit home-pasturized), fruit, sometimes peanut butter, sometimes pumpkin, and rice cereal.  She eats bites of whatever we are eating as well, but Little Miss Two Teeth has a hard time doing a real number on solid foods yet.  Regardless, I am just thankful that she will actually eat food off of a spoon and has recently started taking a sippy cup.  I have no intentions of weaning her anytime soon, but I feel a lot less anxious knowing she's pulling some nutrition from a source besides me.  She weighs around 20 lbs, so I know she isn't hurting for calories.

Along with her new eating habits, she has developed some new modes of transportation for herself.  She's been crawling for a couple months, but refused to stand up until three days ago.  Even with help, she wanted nothing to do with being on her feet.  I was beginning to fret about why she was avoiding that major developmental milestone, but figured I'd give it a while longer.  Sure enough, Wednesday night, she just started standing up.  Now we can't get her to sit down.  She can climb stairs; she's even trying to cruise the furniture already.  That girl.  She doesn't want to do anything until she can do it perfectly.  It was that way with learning to crawl, now learning to stand, and I bet she'll wait to walk until she can just let go and stroll around the neighborhood.  She's a real stink.

Her vocabulary is exploding!  Just yesterday as I was sitting outside with her on the front porch, she waved at a lady passing by and before I could say anything, she said, "Mme", plain as day.  "Mme" means something like ma'am or Mrs in Sesotho and it's how you greet any married woman.  Ellee can also say Mama, Dada (when she wants to, not often, she's a real stinker), Ky for Kyle, sky, bird, hello, bye bye, night night, bite, bath and yeah.  Of course, bird, bite and bath all sound very similar but in context, it is obvious what she is trying to say.  If I tell her no, she'll often respond with "yeah".  We are so in for it.  On command she can kiss, dance, wave, clap, and laugh.  Her forced laugh keeps us roaring.  I don't know why she's started it, but whenever someone else is laughing, she forces out the most woody-the-woodpecker laugh you've ever heard.  It's hilarious!  She also makes car and plane noises while she plays with Kyle's toys, much to his delight.  We think she's great fun.

For a year I have been singing or humming Edelweiss to my girl as I nurse her before bed.  The words to that song have brought me to tears on numerous occasions because they express exactly what I feel in my heart.  I pray over her, sing over her, wish over her so many things during those quiet, dark hours; my heart is full of hopes and dreams for this sweet child.  Most of all, I pray she will become a God-fearing woman, strong and gentle, caring and honest, helpful, hopeful and joyful in whatever life brings her way.  I pray she will grow into a lovely little girl, and a virtuous woman.  I pray for her future husband and her future children.  It seems so far off now, rocking a sleeping baby in my arms, but I already know the days and years fly by.

Edelweiss, edelweiss, every morning you greet me

Small and white, clean and bright

You look happy to meet me

Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow

Bloom and grow forever!

Home from the hospital

Newborn photo shoot

One month old

Two months

Two months, dressed up for church

Three months

Four months

Four months

Five months

Six months

Seven months

Seven months, dressed up for church (same dress)

Eight months

We'll pretend like this is nine months, don't actually have a precise picture

Ten months

Eleven months

Eleven months, hanging with Tlotlisang

Birthday eve

One year old!

Happy first birthday, my beloved girl.  Mama loves you!

~Abby

8 Months to Treasure

Ellee girl is 8 months old today.  She gets sweeter everyday and I love her more and more.  I treasure her like nothing I've ever had before.

I'm not sure which is the biggest update since my last Ellee post.... sleeping or rolling?  Sleeping, certainly! This girl is sleeping through the night, all on her own, in her big girl crib in her big girl room.  "Hallelujah" you hear me cry!!!  I started sleep training her just before the New year.  She had a little disruption while we went to South Africa for AIM prayer day for a few nights, but since we've been home, she's slept all night the past 5 nights!  She still wakes up occasionally and whines but she soothes herself and goes back to sleep on her own.  She is still breast feeding before a bed time, but she usually stirs some when I lay her in her crib and she still goes right back to sleep.  Good girl.  Mommy is so proud!  It seems that we were keeping each other awake because she immediately did better in her own room than she'd ever done sleeping beside me.  She takes a nap in the morning for about 1-1.5 hours and another nap in the afternoon for about the same, and she sleeps from between 7-8 until between 5-7.  If she wakes up around 5 or 6, she'll usually doze beside me until about 7.

Also this week, she has discovered how to roll from her back to her belly.  I wondered how long it'd take her to make the connection that rolling back to front and front to back can create mobility across the room.  I think it took her all of about half an hour.  Now she rolls to get what she wants.  And now I have to keep a close eye on whats on the floor, so she doesn't get anything too small in her mouth!  It's fun to watch her determination to get what she wants.  She did roll over onto an action figure of Kyle's yesterday and has a mark on

her back to prove it.  It's hard to be mobile when ouchie things get in your way!

Despite my efforts to feed her homemade, home grown baby food, she still much prefers getting her calories from breast milk.  She only tolerates about two bites of baby food before she quits opening her mouth.  Oh well.  I don't know any 5 year olds who only drink milk, so I'm not worried about it.  She is also still toothless and I find it a bit silly to feed a baby food before they even have any teeth.  Plus, I thoroughly enjoying our snuggle sessions and use that time to sing and talk to her and pray for her little life.

She thinks high fives are great fun and she loves it when I clap, although she hasn't discovered how to do it for herself.  She giggles at her brother and he is eager for her to start playing with him outside.  He likes to blow on her belly or back and make her laugh.  She babbles now, mostly saying "mamamamamamama", which of course I love!

All dressed up for church

I think she weighs about 17 or 18 pounds and is wearing 6-12 months clothes.  She finally outgrew her 3-6 months stuff she had been in for months.  She's a chunky thing but she's actually quite petite, I think.  She desperately needs clothes, and I hope to hit some consignment stops/sales while we are home in the US next month.  Her hair is filling in nicely and her eyelashes are really long.  She has a lot of cradle cap under her hair still, any recommendations on what to do for that?

That should be a pretty thorough update on my girl.  She's sick of being on the floor so I better grab her now.  

~Abby

Christmas in Lesotho

Christmas changes as you get older; it's a well known fact.  And it really changes if you up and move around the world to a remote foreign country.  But, it also provides opportunity for new traditions, new reflection, and new joy.

It's not such a big deal here, the Christmas season.  One might see the occasional Christmas tree sparsely decorated with a string of lights and a little tinsel in a large shopping mall.  Finding lights hanging from roof tops, Christmas trees shimmering in the window of a dimly lit home, clerks dressed as elves, apple cider or peppermint Kisses would be an impossible task in this country.  For one thing, the vast majority of people who even have electricity don't have enough money to waste on decorative lights.  Homes aren't large enough to make room for a Christmas tree and stores are hardly focused on the upcoming holiday.  It is a holiday, of course. Things are closed, workers get the day off, people are visiting family and such; but, the big to-do isn't here.  If you are fortunate, your family might slaughter an animal and you'll have the rare treat of meat for dinner.  That's about the extent of the celebration.

Being the American I am, I can't bring myself to let go of the traditions I was raised with.  But, being the foreigner I am, I can't help but reflect on what Christmas is to me.  I love warm cider and a beautifully lit home on an old country road, but do I love it more than Christmas--the true meaning of Christmas?  Christmas is so much more than presents and lights, and it's much easier to see from around the world.

Growing up in a large family, we never did big Christmas.  We had our traditions, our gifts to and from family, our modest collection of special toys on Christmas morning from our parents.  And I like it that way.  I like doing the things that are special, the gift choosing, wrapping and giving.  But, I really like how simplicity helped remind me even as a child that Christmas isn't about the stuff that was coming, but rather the One who came.  We are able carry on many of the same traditions, small and special Christmas traditions with our children now, even here in the Mountain Kingdom.

I put out our few Christmas decorations on December 1st.  Kyle was pretty sure the stockings were meant to go on his feet.  I tried to explain that they'd be used on the 25th for gifts, but two year olds have very little concept of time.  

Not a posed photo

Before we moved last year, I started this project of making an advent calendar.  One of my favorite Christmas memories as a kid was moving the tiny bear from place to place on our advent calendar in anticipation of the 25th, where he finally found the tree in the living room, towering over a pile of presents.  So, I started stitching these little pockets to make a calendar for my kids.  I got all the pockets finished before I became deathly ill during my pregnancy with Ellee and that little project went on the back burner for months.  It never got finished amidst the chaos of our move (and my lingering sickness) in January.  My mom finished it for me and sent it in a package from home and I cried when I saw it; I didn't know she had finished it.  Kyle has enjoyed hopping the gingerbread man from day to day, saying "we're almost to Chris-miss."  Occasionally he'd jump a whole week, and say, "we're almost there!" before I tried to explain that you can't just time travel like that.  I don't think he got it.  Our other decorations are stockings and a small quilt hanging, also from my mom, and a pair of Christmas light salt and pepper shakers.  I hung the stockings by the door, as that was the only place I could find nails already sticking out.  Hanging things is a real pain here with the concrete walls because it requires a drill and there's not easy patch work...I digress.

Maseru Christmas decorations

I brought our advent calendar and stockings with us to Maseru.  We are here for the week celebrating Christmas with our new friends from Holland, our Unit Leaders from South Africa, and another family from America.  Our friends had decorated the little apartment we stay in behind their house with a few Christmas things to add to the Christmas spirit (and they think we're a tad bit odd, as Dutchies aren't so into Christmas like Americans. Still, they're humoring us......).  We also received via a package from home a Little People Nativity set which is great fun for both kids.

At least there is a decent stocking hanging spot in our holiday house.... :)

When we moved last year, we gave away nearly all of Kyle's toys.  That was really tough on all of us.  Little by little over the past year we've re accumulated things that are now very special to him.  He doesn't need anything, truly, and has so many more things than any of the kids we live amongst.  So, we bought him some pre-school-ish toys, Play-doh and Legos for instance, that I hope will occupy him for hours.  We also got him a new movie, snuggle socks, and a small bag of caramel popcorn for his stocking and a set of Curious George books for lazy days on the couch.  This is his third Christmas and each year just gets more exciting.  He is so thrilled by the smallest things and I love seeing the joy on his face.  He also loves watching Ellee open her new toys, and was very excited about giving her the princess Little People we bought for her.

The spread

Ellee girl has been in desperate need of some girl toys for the past couple of months.  I've been holding off until Christmas knowing we already had a few things for her.  I ordered her a stuffed lamb and a set of Little People and she also received a teddy bear, an outfit, and a few other shiny, fun toys from our Christmas shipment from home.  She had a "milk teeth" toothbrush and toothpaste in her stocking.  Alas, as she is still toothless, those will have to wait a while yet.

A very big thank you to our extremely generous "Uncle" who shipped us our Christmas presents all the way from the US.  Having a few things to unwrap and be surprised by was such a blessing to these parents' hearts.  It was very special to tell them that Lollee and Pops, Grammy and PaPa and Uncle Ric and Aunt Rachel sent them Christmas presents all the way from America.  I also got a box of 144 s'mores Poptarts, which is just about the best Christmas present I ever received.  

Today we made a fairly traditional Christmas dinner complete with turkey, ham, Stove Top stuffing (also an American import, very tasty), potatoes and gravy, cinnamon roasted winter vegetables and pumpkin & pecan pies and tiramisu for dessert.  Boukje and I spent the whole day in the kitchen and I didn't even think to photograph our spread.  I dare say it was just near perfect.  We had a full table, lots of kids running around, and two toothless babies in our midst.  It was hot and sticky with humidity, not very unlike Christmas in South Carolina oftentimes.  We had a great time and tried not to eat too much......... Well, at least I did; I can't speak for anyone else.

Certainly we miss home during this time, I miss the shops decorated for Christmas, the foods you can only get this time of year, the joy and generosity that comes with the season.  But, it is good to be here, to celebrate with others, to grow closer as a family and to remember that it isn't about gifts or tinsel... It is about Jesus and He is why we live here, He is why we live at all.  We are blessed beyond measure and my heart overflows with gratefulness for my Savior, my family, our supporters and our friends.

Merry Christmas!

~Abby