3 Months of Baby Love

Three months ago yesterday I really started having contractions.  I use the word "really" lightly because in the end, those "contractions" felt like a tap on the shoulder compared to the boxing match I went through in the end.  But, regardless, they started, coming on and off from 4 AM Tuesday morning.  In normal, not-anticipating-the birth-of-a-"late"-baby life, I likely would have slept right through them.  I was so excited, however, I stayed awake timing those whimpy things.  What was I thinking?!  Those hours of sleep would have come in really handy during delivery.

I had the idea that the contractions would start mildly and far apart, and simultaneously become stronger and closer together.  That is not at all what happened.  I woke up after only being asleep for about 30 minutes on Tuesday night to the most horrendous pain I'd ever imagined.  That statement is coming from someone who has also experienced a kidney stone.  Whoever dreamt up the idea that childbirth and kidney stones are comparable was a obviously a man.  Anyways, it took me a minute after the pain subsided to even remember that I could be in labor.  For all of you lovely young ladies who have yet to experience childbirth, I will spare you from detailed comments on its entirety.  I believe everything I think about the whole experience can be summed up like this:  I am surprised that all women don't just curl up and die in the midst of it.

God is rich in mercy and rewards our pain and agony not with death but with life.  Miraculous new, sweet smelling, soft, small, vulnerable, beautiful life.  I was unprepared for how I would feel about my own child.  Who could have prepared me for a love such as this?   All the time I realize a bit more of what it meant for God to give his only Son to save a wretch like me.  In my selfish, human heart I know there isn't a person on earth I would give my son to save.

I am cherishing these moments.  Even the middle of the night feedings, which still happen at times, I am trying to enjoy.  I love watching him smile at his daddy.  I love our round the clock nursing sessions during the day even though they put a kink in trying to do anything else.  I love sneaking into his room after he's in bed for the night and watching him sleep.  I love carrying my naked baby to his bathtub.  I even don't mind changing his never ending diapers.  I adore hearing him trying to talk.  I love that he burps as loud as a grown man sometimes.  I smile when his paci squeaks because he's sucking so hard.  I love that he crosses his feet while he's eating.

Good morning! I'm 3 months old today!

Jonathan and I agree that this is the sweetest time of our lives.  We are so in love with Kyle and basking in every moment of being parents together.  I can't imagine doing this with anyone else.  Kyle has a great and godly daddy;  I am so thankful for my dear husband.

Off to feed my little buddy.....Again.

~Abby