I love watching her grow. And grow she has.... look at all that chunk! She loves her milk. She loves her mama. But, she really loves her milk. She can roll over and squeal and she's working on sitting up. She can stay for a little bit before she loses her balance but she's well on her way to being upright. I'll be thrilled when she's able to sit up and then she can really entertain herself.
It still feels like she's a dream. I love her enormous blue eyes and her itty bitty nose. I love to bury my nose in her neck, take a big whiff of her sweet baby smell and kiss all those soft baby rolls. I love to hold her tight and rub her arm while she eats. I love every day with her. I enjoy seeing her stretch and smile in the morning. And I enjoy how she adores her brother and giggles at him when he tries to be funny. I love seeing her kick and splash in the bathtub. But, I really dream of who she'll become. I dream of her toddling around outside with Kyle. I dream of putting her hair in pig tails. I dream of listening to her jabber away like her brother does. I dream of the company she'll be to me in years to come. I dream of baking cookies and painting toenails with her on a rainy day.
Little lady hasn't been the most content baby these past few weeks. That's a nice way to put it. I could easier say she's been a rotten mess for 2 full weeks. We've been away from home for three weeks now and I think she's just not keen on disrupting what little routine we had. Sometimes I feel bad for her and how unsettled her entire life has been and will continue to be. I'm thankful, though, that she loves mama. She sleeps wherever....mama is. She eats wherever....mama is. She cries wherever.....mama isn't. But, who can blame her? Mom, Dad and Kyle are the only three constants she's had in her life. And mama is the one with the food.
I am not planning to start her on solids anytime real soon. But, she does love to gum at fruit (like a melon today at the church picnic) and carrots (like we had this week for dinner). She obviously isn't hurting for any nutrients. And I still love feeding her. I sing her Edelweiss and rub her ever growing hair or hold her fingers. It is something I'm really cherishing.
She is a terrible sleeper. She isn't anywhere near sleeping through the night. She barely makes it a couples hours at a time. To say that I am weary of it would be a gross understatement. I hope, now that we've got a decent stretch of home time ahead of us, that we can work a bit on sleep habits. For the past.... well 6 months, we've been winging it. It's a good thing she's cute.
Whenever I'm lying in bed at night and am trying to get my mind to settle down, I think back to the night she was born and it calms me. I am so thankful I have her birth on video and I can watch it whenever I like. I still cry when I watch it sometimes, when I hear my reaction and when I see her sweet face and hear her timid cry. I think about what a dream it felt like to see her for the first time. I think back to how she used to make constant little squeaky noises. I think about all we went through together, those months of misery this time last year, and what a treasure she is to me because of it. She's better than any dream I've ever had and I thank God over and over for her precious life and for giving her to me. I pray we're best pals one day.