I Knew I Loved You

For any of you who were at our wedding and remember that Jonathan and I danced to Savage Garden's I Knew I Loved You, you probably made the connection then.  It's no secret that Jonathan and I were very much fond of each other before we ever met face to face.  However, that feeling was not something new to me.  I have experienced this unusual occurrence six different times thus far in my life.

Although I cannot remember well what I felt when my family adopted my sister, Lacy, when I was four years old, I am told that I spoke of her often during the waiting process.  As much as a four year old can love someone she had never met, I assure you I loved her like that.  My mom likes to tell about the time that I told her we needed to "pray for our baby."  That was certainly my first encounter with loving someone I'd never met.

(Lacy's referral photo)

I do remember distinctly the love I felt for Holly before I ever met her.  Before she knew I existed, I yearned for her and loved her beyond understanding.  I was immediately drawn to her, the moment I saw her picture on the flyer from our adoption agency.  During the time we waited to bring her home, I wrote letters to her.  I specifically remember crying as I wrote, as I longed to meet her more than I could explain.  I plan to give Holly those letters when she is old enough to read and comprehend the emotion held in them.   I was 13 years old at that time.  Watching my parents and Ryan walk towards me with Holly in the Atlanta airport is something I'll never forget.  After months of waiting to meet her, it truly felt like a dream to see her precious face.

(The first picture of Holly I saw on the flyer from the agency)

Similarly, I cherished Maggie Rose before she ever came home.  The decision to adopt Maggie came almost exactly a year from the time my parents came home with Holly.  I didn't, however, have any trouble loving Maggie in spite of the fact that Holly was still brand new.  I longed for Maggie and I remember her home coming well, again in the Atlanta airport.  

(Maggie's referral photo)

When Jonathan and I were introduced, within weeks I knew I loved him.  Some people thought I was crazy and a few were so bold as to tell me so.  But, loving someone without meeting them was something I knew well.  After we had the approval of our parents to pursue a "relationship", if you will (more like get married), I remember feeling that I was really close to him, although we were thousands of miles apart.  As with my sisters, we never spoke on the phone before we met.  And like with Holly, I wrote him letters.  Long letters.  Only, this time, unlike Holly, he wrote back.  Oh, how I loved him.  And still do.  More now than I did then, although I wouldn't have believed it if you'd try to tell me it was possible.  So, there was no more fitting song for our first dance than I Knew I Loved You.

(The first time Jonathan and I met - in the Houston airport)

Tonight as I rubbed my rapidly growing belly, I thought of how much I love this child growing inside of me.  This is not a new development, but it is an increasingly strong emotion.  I am certain that in the next 15 weeks until he is due, I will grow to love him more deeply than I could ever imagine.  

(My baby)

Right before we found out we were expecting, my parents began discussing another adoption.  I can't say I was terribly shocked, yet on the other hand it wasn't something I was expecting.  And this time, it's a boy!  I look forward with great anticipation to meeting my brother, Caleb, in another airport I'm sure.  He will be welcomed into our family with open arms.  I love him and he doesn't know I exist. 

(Sadly, I cannot post a picture of Caleb.  But, he's cute, I promise!)

As Jonathan and I dream of our future and the many plans the Lord has for us which we do not yet know, we constantly speak of our desire to adopt.  I am having a hard time waiting to see what God has in store for us, but I am certain that it will involve love.  A lot of love.  And I pray that it includes multiple more chances to love someone sight unseen.

"I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed you into life;

I knew I loved you before I met you, I have been waiting all my life."

~Abby

Devos with Jade

I am fully aware that I have about a four track mind right now.  The vast majority of my thoughts are consumed by but a very few things.  Baby, kitty, food and sleep - pretty much in that order.  My husband reminds me of this quite often.  Thus, you may be seeing some very clear patterns in my blog posts.  Do forgive my repetitiveness.  If you are bored by hearing about the baby growing in my belly, my intense need for extra calories, or my adoration for a certain black feline, you might as well check back in about 5 months for posts about things that might interest you more.  I will ask tomorrow about whether or not I am allowed to bring a camera into Christ Central, so I can post about what we've been able to do there as we wait for answers regarding future ministry options.  If that would interest you more, do check back.

That being said, I will proceed with my purpose for writing this post.

I've never been one to make New Year's resolutions.  They never seem to work out too well for me.  But, as January rolled around for 2010, I made the resolution, or commitment if you will, to read the Bible every day.  That may sound like no huge task to many of you.  However, I will admit to letting life get in the way far too often in recent years.  Being an unashamed nonreader, it is not, or I should say was not, my most favorite thing to do.  I now very much look forward to climbing into bed at night and snuggling up with my Bible.  I am even enjoying reading the Old Testament.  

Many times in the past I have started to read the whole Bible through, start to finish.  I have failed every time.  If I ever got much past Genesis 17, I'd be surprised.  I used to just hop around the New Testament and Psalms.  Growing up we did family Bible studies regularly during the week, and always read from both the Old and New Testaments.  So, many of the stories I am coming across are familiar to me, however some of them have been brand new.  In an attempt to not start in Genesis and fail again, I started in the New Testament and bounced around book to book until I finished everything except Revelation.  I plan to do an in-depth study of Revelation, as it is a very detailed and at times difficult to understand book.  Now entering into the middle of the Old Testament, I am really appreciating reading about the kings and Israel.  During my time in the law books, I had to add a little joy in my reading so I read Psalm at the same time.  

It doesn't hurt that I have a sleepy little reading buddy.  Sometimes she comes and curls up with me as I read.  Other times, I have to scoot her over and out of my spot so I can get in the bed, too.  Regardless, she is attentive occasionally and I believe, learning as much as can be expected.

More typical is a position like this one:

However she wants to learn is fine with me.  I'm still trying to get her to fall asleep on it, hoping that maybe she'll absorb some into that fur brain of hers. 

At the very least, she's pretty.

That's all for now, folks.  My baby really likes banana pudding.

~Abby

Belly Jumps

Mmmmm...... The sweet feeling of baby thumps and bumps and jumps.  I look forward to climbing into bed at night and feeling my little guy - as that's typically when he is the most active, naturally.  Something tells me nothing will change after he makes his appearance into this world.  I might as well kiss sleep goodbye.  And I love sleep.

It really is spectacular to feel his little movements.  Sometimes I can't decide if I want to laugh or cry or pass out.  Yes, I said pass out.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I feel light headed and pathetic at the pretty much the drop of a hat.  The thought of something alive inside of me well......Is just a little freaky.  Fortunately, I have made it thus far (blood work and all) without keeling over.  We'll see how long this lasts.

Sensationally his movements have changed a lot since I first felt little "flutters" as they call them at nearly 18 weeks (almost exactly 4 weeks ago).  Now it feels exactly like little Morse code tappings.  Tap tap.  Tap. Pause. Tap tap tap.  If I could come up with a way to teach him Morse code, I could be rich and famous.  Feeling sure that someone has already thought of that and failed miserably, I've decided against wasting my time.

Kyle (it still feels weird to refer to him by his name although, I am trying to quit calling him "the baby") seems to really like hot chocolate.  And apples.  Actually, fruit in general makes him wake up and squirm about.  Okay, okay the truth is, he likes pretty much everything I feed him.  I'm such a great mom.  (That was said with much sarcasm.)  I am particularly proud of his affection towards hot chocolate.  It probably had something to do with all the marshmallows I stuffed in the top of the mug.  Regardless, he went crazy and giggled as it felt like my innards moved from one side of my belly to the other.  That'll probably be the last time I drink hot chocolate right before bed for a while.

Already practicing for his celebrity status in our house. 

~Abby

October

It certainly isn't hard to see that October is the most beautiful month of the year.  Okay, I know that statement was full of opinion.  However, I believe it to be true.  Fall is by far my favorite season.  I have thought many times about how wonderful it would be to live in fall year-round.  Sadly, I think it would lose some of its magic if it didn't come and go, so I just try to soak it all in while it's here.  There is nothing quite like a warm mug of cider or a freshly roasted s'more!  I love to fill my lungs with the crisp air and faint whiff of burning leaves.  Why, yes, I could go on for paragraphs about the many reasons I have deemed fall my favorite season; but in a nutshell, it comes down to this: I love everything about it.

I also just happen to have the perfect October accessory.  Not long after we were married, Jonathan surprised me with a precious little kitten.  She is completely black, ignoring the occasional white hair that pops up here and there. (I think I've counted about five in over a years time).  She also plays the role quite well as one of her favorite pastimes is to run around the house with her tail as fluffy as it'll get and her back arched.  I get my fill of laughs when she goes into demon cat mode.  Needless to say, I enjoy her company and have thanked Jono many times for her.

Boo!

During this time of the year, I also thoroughly enjoy listening to Celtic Thunder, a quintet of Irish singers.  Their debut CD is my favorite. Many of the songs just beg for a cozy robe and someone sweet to cuddle up next to.  If you've never heard any of their music, do check them out.

"What, Mom? I was just stretching my face."

So, grab a quilt and a mug of something warm and tasty and snuggle up to someone you love.

I think I will, too.  Happy Fall ya'll!

~Abby

A Well Balanced Breakfast

I feel like all I do these days is eat, think about eating, or plan what I'm going to eat next.  I assume that it's normal, but if not, don't tell me otherwise.  

After we found out that we're expecting a BOY, we popped into Sonic for a little celebratory treat.  However, I don't believe my strawberry-orange cream slush counted towards my necessary 5 fruit/vegetable servings for that day. 

Bummer! Oh well, I made up for it this morning at breakfast.  While my darling husband ate a bowl of ramen (aka the poorest excuse for human food ever created) for breakfast, I enjoyed a well balanced meal which consisted of:

Strawberries and grapes, half of a cinnamon raisin bagel wearing a little cream cheese (protein) and honey (natural sweetener, naturally) and a small glass of apple-raspberry juice.

Yumm-o!

Yesterday we went to the grocery store to stock up on healthy foods for this hungry bear, I mean mama.  Now when I want a snack (which is about 5X a day) I can reach for a fruit cup, an apple with natural peanut butter, some wheat thins, apple sauce, trail mix, raisins, carrots or a little hummus..... instead of the cookies or Captain Crunch. 

I read somewhere recently about what I should and shouldn't be eating during my pregnancy.  The book said something along the lines of, "before you take a bite, think about whether or not it will benefit you or the baby."  Talk about a major guilt trip every time I get the whim to eat a spoon of ice cream or a chunk of the maple-walnut fudge Brad bought me. 

Now off to weed through all the clothes that my 19-weeks body is rapidly outgrowing...

...as I dream about lunch...

~Abby

P.S. If you're interested in a ministry update, hop on over to J's blog  http://stclairsinmissions.blogspot.com/

A Day in the Life

Sometimes in life you really have to laugh to keep from crying.  We have had our fair share of those experiences this year.  I figured I'd let ya'll in on a few of them from the last few weeks.

About a month ago, when Jonathan returned from the missions trip with Cristo Te Ama to Mazahua, the water heater wouldn't light.  Figuring that the gas was just out and having no way to fix it, he took cold showers.  When I arrived back from SC, I took cold showers. Well, I took 2.  Then the water went away completely.  After checking out the cistern in ground, J found that the water was below where the pump reaches.  We tried for 2 days to figure out how to get the city water to fill up our cistern by turning knobs and valves, but we had no luck.  In the meantime, Jonathan started bringing up 2 buckets of water (from the very bottom of the cistern) at a time.  We rationed the water, as we didn't know how long it'd be before the cistern filled back up. Plus we live on the third floor, and it gets really old climbing stairs with buckets of heavy water.  It is a good thing we used it sparingly, because the cistern didn't fill up for 6 days.  Bathing with buckets is an art.  If your head is shaved, like my husband's, well, it's not so difficult.  But, when you have a mop of hair like I do, it really is a tricky job.  We would dip the cup in the water to wash everything but my hair. Then, we had to tag team to finish.  I'd dunk my head in the bucket, upside down.  Then Jonathan would lather it all up.  I'd dunk my head back in while Jonathan tried to get all the shampoo out. Then I'd put in conditioner, since it was an upside-down tangled up mess, and dunk back into the water full of suds.  After we got the water dirty from bathing, we could flush the toilet.  I wonder how many people know that if you just poor water rapidly into a toilet, it flushes.  I didn't know that before we came here.  In fact, any time we used water - washing dishes, faces, hands, brushing teeth etc - we dumped it into the back of the toilet to create for ourselves "a flush."  We also took advantage of all the other toilets on the third floor.  Probably about day 2 Jonathan went around to all the bathrooms to count how many "flushes" we had left.  Each toilet still had one flush ready in the back of the toilet from before the water went out.  Needless to say, this went from funny to ridiculous pretty fast.  At least it didn't matter anymore that the hot water heater wouldn't turn on, cause we had no water to heat.

During the time the water was out, our overhead lights/fans went out.  This was undoubtedly the least of our worries.  We kept the bathroom and closet lights on and eventually pilfered a lamp from another room.

After a few days of living (and smelling) like cave men, I told my mom it could only get worse if our A/C broke.  The next day, the A/C unit (1) cut off.  When I cut it back on, it sounded like a jackhammer.  The noise was inescapable, especially since the unit is directly above our bed.  Jonathan assured me we would NOT move to another room just because the unit was making noise.  So, I put in my earplugs and fell asleep.  About 2.5 hours later I woke up because the noise had increased and my earplugs weren't cutting it any more, only to find J next to me lying on his back with his hands behind his head (that means he's mad).  Chuckling on the inside, I convinced him to move to another room.  He was delirious after laying there for hours trying to fall asleep with the jackhammer above his head.  None the less, we moved to another room, and found that that A/C unit (different type) was also making an obnoxious noise.  After waiting with (stubborn) Jonathan for about 20 minutes, I finally talked him into moving to yet another room.  At last, we found a room where the A/C worked and didn't sound like heavy machinery.  This is the room we are still in now.  The new problem is, we can hear all the music from the night club next door.  I simply cannot imagine how loud the music must be inside that place, if I can hear it loud and clear in my bed.  The bar is open every night except Sunday until any time between 3-6 AM.  I've lived long enough to know that almost nothing good happens at that time of night and you can only imagine the stories we've heard about what kind of things go on next door.  Absurdity.

A/C units are expensive down here and because our original unit was making that horrific noise, we were told to turn it off.  You can't imagine how hot it gets in that room with no A/C.  Our refrigerator barely works to begin with, but with it so incredibly hot and humid in the room, it had to work double time.  I threw so much food out those few days.  I tried to convince Jonathan to throw the meat out of the freezer which wasn't cold at all, but he cooked it instead.  It's really a miracle we never got sick off that meat.  Now that the A/C is kinda fixed in there, the fridge is working at its regular 1/2 speed.

Well, the water heaters still don't have it together yet.  We can't for the life of us keep the water heater on in the room where we are now sleeping.  So for showers, we go to the other room where the water heater works but the A/C sounds like a jackhammer.  Then last night, the water went out again.  It has been on and off since it got turned back "on", but it usually comes back on within a couple hours.  Well after Victoria, there's no waiting for a shower cause we never know if we've got ticks or who knows what else on us.  Even though there's "no" water, it really means there's no cold water coming from the roof, but there is still one hot water heater's worth of hot water.  Confused?  Oh well.  We tried to shower with the scorching water.  Ouch!  In an attempt to save what little water we had and not burn ourselves, we turned the water off.  So, Jonathan combined some cold, slightly dirty, old water from a bucket still in the shower and some hot water from the faucet, and poured it on my head to help me get the shampoo out of my hair.  Ridiculous.

Last but not least, the Tahoe we are borrowing doesn't have reverse.  "Doesn't have reverse?" you ask.  Nope, no reverse.  That creates a huge problem.  The reverse went out about 3 months ago.  Well, first the forward went out.  So we paid for a "new" gear box and unbeknownst to us, this one came equipped with no reverse.  So, every morning, J pushes and I steer out of the car lot place we keep the cars at night.  We've learned that if I hit the brakes as soon as the back wheels hit the curb, J can run and watch for a space in the traffic on our busy road and I am able to keep some momentum to continue out of the "drive way" (with an extra push or two from Jonathan or the nice guy who owns the business next door).  We have also learned that we must park where we can pull through or continue forwards.  Well, last night we found ourselves in a packed parking garage in a corner with no way out.  We usually have no trouble finding a place to pull through here, but last night was an exception.  So, Jonathan with a bum ankle has to push me out of this predicament and we end up making at least an 8 point turn around.  Although, I'd never have the strength to push that huge vehicle even if I wanted to, being pregnant means I have less to offer in the way of help.  I was laughing to keep from crying while Jonathan was telling me, "This is not funny!!"  Any pride we may have brought down here is gone now, because we get the most hilarious looks from people as I steer and Jonathan pushes me around in public places.  Finally, we got out of that sticky spot in the parking garage and decided to just pay the parking man to let us park in illegal spot.

Don't ever take for granted turning on your faucet and having warm water come out - or any water for that matter.  And please, never forget how important reverse is. Really, it makes life so much more enjoyable.  There are many, many things I will never think of the same way again, but these are some of the ones that make for hilarious stories.

~Abby

Blood

Yesterday was all dreamy and wonderful.  Today reality hits.  I must go get this blood work done so the Doc can check it before we leave Mexico.  I am terrified.  I almost passed out in the middle of the night just thinking about it.

Last time I had blood drawn was not quite two months ago when we got the pregnancy blood test done.  Even thinking I had a sweet little baby inside didn't help.  I sat down in the chair and cried.  Looking at the counter next to me, I noticed two sizes of vials.  In the caddy there were three rows of "small" vials and one row of "big" ones.  I just knew she would grab the big one.  She did.  Then the darling lady wanted to show me she was using a brand new needle.  However, she didn't warn me she was about to stick a huge (everything seems bigger when you're scared) needle right in front of my face.  I cringed out loud.  J says I even shoved my hand in her face.  (Pure instinct, I promise.  I'm really not a terrible person and I know she's just trying to do her job.)  She then proceeded to tell me that if I didn't stop crying the blood wouldn't come out.  What a ridiculous story, but I fell for it and tried to slurp my sobs back up.  To "keep my mind off of it" I asked Jonathan to tell me a story.  Poor thing, he had to improv an interesting story to keep me from passing out.  So, he starts in about the bamboo trees outside.  It was a valiant effort, but to no avail.  I was going.  All of the sudden J sounded like he was across the building.  And those black eye shields starting coming up.....

Fortunately, I didn't knock all the way out.  I did, however, feel like a zombie the rest of the day.  Last time we only checked to see if I was pregnant.  This time, the Doc is checking for like five different things.  I actually haven't counted all the check marks on the referral slip.  I don't really want to know.  I just hope it doesn't mean we have to take a vial for every single thing he's checking for.  

Today I will not look at any vials or needles.  They can show Jonathan all they want, but my eyes will be closed.  If they'd let me lay on the floor, I would.  Anything to be more relaxed and less terrified.  

This is what you call procrastinating. 

~Abby