Blood

Yesterday was all dreamy and wonderful.  Today reality hits.  I must go get this blood work done so the Doc can check it before we leave Mexico.  I am terrified.  I almost passed out in the middle of the night just thinking about it.

Last time I had blood drawn was not quite two months ago when we got the pregnancy blood test done.  Even thinking I had a sweet little baby inside didn't help.  I sat down in the chair and cried.  Looking at the counter next to me, I noticed two sizes of vials.  In the caddy there were three rows of "small" vials and one row of "big" ones.  I just knew she would grab the big one.  She did.  Then the darling lady wanted to show me she was using a brand new needle.  However, she didn't warn me she was about to stick a huge (everything seems bigger when you're scared) needle right in front of my face.  I cringed out loud.  J says I even shoved my hand in her face.  (Pure instinct, I promise.  I'm really not a terrible person and I know she's just trying to do her job.)  She then proceeded to tell me that if I didn't stop crying the blood wouldn't come out.  What a ridiculous story, but I fell for it and tried to slurp my sobs back up.  To "keep my mind off of it" I asked Jonathan to tell me a story.  Poor thing, he had to improv an interesting story to keep me from passing out.  So, he starts in about the bamboo trees outside.  It was a valiant effort, but to no avail.  I was going.  All of the sudden J sounded like he was across the building.  And those black eye shields starting coming up.....

Fortunately, I didn't knock all the way out.  I did, however, feel like a zombie the rest of the day.  Last time we only checked to see if I was pregnant.  This time, the Doc is checking for like five different things.  I actually haven't counted all the check marks on the referral slip.  I don't really want to know.  I just hope it doesn't mean we have to take a vial for every single thing he's checking for.  

Today I will not look at any vials or needles.  They can show Jonathan all they want, but my eyes will be closed.  If they'd let me lay on the floor, I would.  Anything to be more relaxed and less terrified.  

This is what you call procrastinating. 

~Abby