A Collision of Two Cultures

In recent days my kids have been enjoying pulling all of Sadie Kate’s things out of her drawer and carrying them around the house in anticipation of her arrival.  They are quite fond of her newborn sleepers, her little lamb from my grandmother, and the nursing cover.  Ellee thinks it’s her cape.

One day recently my house-helper and friend, MaMopeli, was here cleaning.  As I was picking up things in the living room, I held up the nursing cover and said, “Mme, this is how makhoa (white people) feed their babies.  Under one of these.”  She looked at me with a most quizzical and puzzled look, as if I had grown a second head.  She asked, “Are you serious?”  Then she laughed, because that’s what she does most of the time anyway, and shook her head.  I explained that generally white people (I use the term loosely, not because I am racist, but because that is how foreigners are distinguished from Basotho here) are uncomfortable with breast feeding in public and this is their way of making it acceptable — to cover the baby and the breast with a tent and attempt to feed anyway….  Certainly she was confused.  She went on to say what I already know to be true, a Masotho isn’t worried a bit about covering herself or the baby in order to nourish her child.  If the baby is hungry, the baby gets fed, regardless of where Mama is or who is around.

Generally Basotho are quite modest people.  The women here cover their waists and rear-ends with blankets and scarves, they would not be caught dead in a bathing suit or shorts, and they typically keep their top halves fully covered.  Men do not wear shorts.  There are, of course, some traditional clothes, or lack-there-of, which in western culture would be considered immodest, but they are not a common thing.  However, Basotho aren’t the slightest bit reserved when it comes to feeding their babies.  When discussing this topic with our close friend, it was likened to an elbow or ankle showing when a woman is feeding her child.  

White people, on the other hand, at least Americans, tend to be relatively immodest people in comparison.  Our women wear pants, shorts, bikinis… You get the picture.  Our men have no problem wearing shorts either, or skipping a shirt to take a jog.  These things are all commonly accepted in our culture and not the least bit looked down upon.  However, it is commonly unacceptable for a woman to feed her baby in a public place without a nursing cover, and often even seen as unacceptable for her to do so with a cover!  No one, and I mean no one, could dispute the fact that way more skin is showing in a bikini than when a woman is feeding her baby on a park bench or (gasp) in a church pew!

I spend a decent amount of time thinking about this topic, because I have found myself in a collision of two cultures.  I didn’t own a nursing cover when I was nursing Kyle.  I can count on one hand the number of times I fed that boy in a public place, and only ever did so highly self-consciously and fully covered with a blanket.  My life revolved around trying to time his feeds when I was going to be in a private place or making sure I had pumped a bottle so that I wasn’t stuck somewhere with a hungry baby and no viable options for feeding him.  It was highly stressful and and constricting.  Then I moved to Africa and Ellee was born.  I resolved very early on with Ellee that I just wasn’t going to bother trying to time her feedings or drape us both with a tent in order to feed her.  If the child needed to eat, the child was going to be fed.  I couldn’t count or name all the public places Ellee ate her meals.  She breastfed exclusively for eight months.  

The opinions and articles on this matter are not few.  I see it constantly on Facebook and blog posts.  Makhoa, white people, Americans, westerners are so determined that "breast feeding is best, but it has it’s place.”  I see comment after comment after comment about the indecency and immodesty of feeding a baby in public.  I can hardly stomach the hypocrisy!  A stroll down the beach or through a mall will certainly expose one to more indecency than sitting nearby a woman simply trying to feed her child!

I’ve become immune to the sight of a woman sitting on the side of the road, fully exposed, feeding her infant.  It is common for women here to feed their babies in church, on the stoop in front of a shop, or on a bus.  I’ve read and heard it said that we, westerners, are more advanced than the majority of world cultures, thus our women have more decency…. Wait, what?  I beg to differ!  We have it all wrong!  We don’t have any more decency than these cultures who accept that it is completely natural for a woman to feed her child!  Rather we have twisted and perverted the beautiful design of breastfeeding into something sexual and thus something that should be done in private or under cover because it is shameful.  I cannot for a second understand how we got to where we are, and neither can our Basotho friends.  They just laugh at us, rightfully so, and say it’s really no big deal.  It shouldn’t be a big deal.  And while I realize that Rome wasn’t built in a day, so neither will it be torn down in one.  Something has got to change.  Maybe, just maybe, if we could shift our thinking to believing that nursing babies is actually a completely acceptable and respectable thing to do with breasts, we could take a step towards shifting our extremely over-sexualized culture for the better!

So when Sadie Kate comes along in a few weeks, Ellee will get to keep her cape.  If the baby is hungry, she’s gonna be fed, whether we are in Africa or America.  And if someone has any objection, I’ll do my best to keep a pillow case in the diaper bag so they can drape their head while I continue feeding my child.

~Abby

Home Assignment

This is a post I’ve been wanting to write for months but just haven’t had the mental energy to put together.  Now that I am feeling mostly better, I am having to seriously begin thinking about our home assignment plans for 2016.  A number of people have asked about our home assignment and what it will entail exactly.  Since this will be our first ever home assignment, we can’t be sure of precisely how it will all unfold, but our general understanding is as follows:

We left for Africa in January of 2013 and embarked on our first three-year assignment with Africa Inland Mission.  With AIM, missionaries receive home assignment time which is based on the length of their overseas assignment.  So for us, three years in Africa means eight months on home assignment.  Home assignment, also known as furlough, will begin for us in January of 2016.  We will spend our 8 months visiting supporters, supporting churches, family and friends, attending conferences and occasionally being AIM representatives if there have been requests for AIM personnel in nearby churches.  During the spring of 2016, Jonathan plans to finish his Masters’ degree with Liberty Online and we will attend his graduation in Lynchburg, VA sometime in May.  We also plan to visit our dear friends in Mexico during our home assignment.  We have about 50 supporters and five supporting churches which spread across the whole country.  It is our goal to visit as many of our supporters as we possibly can, as we truly believe they are our partners in ministry.  With the addition of our new daughter, we will have some additional support to try to raise during our time home.  And lastly, for the first time since our honeymoon, Jono and I hope to take an anniversary trip alone sometime next summer.

For traveling around the US, visiting churches, supporters, etc, we have a home assignment fund that is being funneled into each month.  It pays for our tickets home, our travel, our tickets back to Africa.  We will still live on support for our normal life expenses during all our traveling.  Our plan is to base ourselves in Aiken, which is where we have the most family nearby and where the majority of our supporters live.  Also, three of our supporting churches are in the Southeast.  Because our sending church is in Illinois, we will travel and spend significant time there, probably around the time of their missions conference.  Another of our supporting churches is in Missouri where Jonathan’s parents are living, so we will spend time there as well.  Our goal is to maintain some level of normal life for our family, so we hope to use Aiken as a home base and do the majority of our travels leaving from and returning there.  Any of our supporters who would enjoy coming to us, we will gladly try to host in Aiken.

Currently our two major needs are a place to stay while in Aiken, as well as a vehicle.  In order to keep our house in Africa, AIM will continue to pay rent for us throughout our time in the States.  Thus, our available funds for trying to actually rent a home or apartment in Aiken are insufficient, besides the fact that we have no furniture.  We are certainly willing to pay what we can and we are praying something will present itself to us.  If you know of someone who has a place where we could stay or rent, please send me an email or a Facebook message.  Understanding that eight months is a long time and that five people are quite a lot, we are willing to move around some if we have a few options.  My parents have a van we can use which will hold all our carseats.  But that will leave my mom carless.  So, if you have or someone you know has a car my parents could borrow, then we will primarily use my parents' van.  We appreciate prayers in both of these areas.

The future plan, although not written in stone yet, is to come back to Africa in Aug of ’16 for a follow-up 2-year assignment.  We have approval from our local leadership, it only needs to be confirmed by our US AIM office. We’d like to come right back to Mokhotlong, spend two years trying to establish TEE in various outlying villages and establishing leadership for those groups.  Eager interest by pastors and church people in two nearby villages has recently necessitated Jonathan starting a new group. The interest and desire for TEE in this area is widespread. We will need to turn all groups over to local leadership before we can depart for good, or TEE won’t continue without us.  The main issue with the local leadership is transportation.  While many local pastors who will graduate from the first TEE class (should graduate before we leave in Dec) would be willing to lead a group in an outlying village, they don’t have cars.  So getting to and from is a serious issue.  That will be our main objective when returning- trying to establish a system so that those groups can perpetuate themselves.

It is sort of hard to believe that we’re halfway through our third year already.  It has been great and long and hard and fun.  I’m so excited, though, to be home for a while.  I believe we all need it.  I think Kyle will be able to actually remember America after those months, and I think he needs that for establishing his little identity.  I also think it will help him to bond with his grandparents and cousins and feel like a part of a bigger family.  The other day I asked him if he was an American boy.  Almost in defense, he replied, “No, I’m an African boy.”  And I’m glad that he feels confident here.  But he also needs to know that he is American and has those roots as well.

I’m looking forward to being nearby friends, my sisters and sisters in law- to feel like I’ve got girlfriends again.  I’m looking forward to being able to drive!!!  I’m looking forward to dressing Ellee up pretty and taking her out just the two of us.  I’m looking forward to celebrating the kids' birthdays with family!  I’m looking forward to church in my own language and nursery, getting to sing and listen and enjoy a service without my kids at my feet.  I’m looking forward to eating chicken salad from about ten different places.  I’m looking forward to making some crafty things!  I’m looking forward to hugging my brother, Ryan.  It will have been three years, which feels like a very long time.  I’m looking forward to visiting all my grandparents, whom I miss terribly.  I’m looking forward to seeing so many familiar faces and places which are so dear to my heart.  I’m looking forward to our whole family getting to meet Sadie while she is still a baby!

My kids are not going to believe we'll be 10 minutes rather than 4 hours from McDonalds!

~Abby

Where There Is No Doctor (Baby #3)

Mokhotlong is a beautiful place to live.  The people are friendly and welcoming, the mountains are majestic and awe-inspiring, the days are slow and quiet.  It is known for cold winters and mild summers.  We really feel at home here in our corner of Lesotho.  Really one of the only drawbacks to living in such a delightfully secluded place is the lack of medical care.

With Baby #3 on the way, I already find myself worrying about it.  What if I get stuck on Sani Pass giving birth in the back-a-Rocky?  It’s a genuine concern.  While the back-a-Rocky does tend to provide us with a variety services, a delivery table isn’t one I’m looking to add to the list.  Immediately when we found out were expecting, we began discussing our various options for prenatal check ups and where to deliver.

Having been pregnant in three different countries, I’ve seen my share of doctors.  My first doctor experience in Mexico was unnerving to say the least.  Thankfully my second doctor experience in Mexico redeemed things significantly.  I delivered Kyle in the US with my favorite Doctor but I couldn’t talk her into coming with me to Africa to deliver Ellee.

Arriving to South Africa/Lesotho late in my pregnancy with Ellee, I really just had to take the luck of the draw with a doctor.  I ended up recommended by a general practitioner to an OB-GYN that I absolutely loved.  He was laid back, conservative, calming and easy to talk to.  He was perfectly willing to work with our situation of living in Lesotho but traveling to South Africa for check ups and delivery.  We were living about two hours away from Bloemfontein, where Ellee was born, and traveling back and forth a number of times before we went to stay for her birth.  

Now in Mokhotlong, we are a solid four hours drive to the nearest private hospital in South Africa, five hours drive from where I plan to see a doctor and deliver Baby #3.  Unfortunately, seeing my Doctor in Bloemfontein is out of the question, as the drive now from Mokhotlong is 7-8 hours.  So, I’m taking the recommendation of a friend and hoping and praying I am pleased with my new doctor the way I was with my Ellee doctor.  We leave this weekend for my first appointment on Monday.

Throughout my pregnancy, we will travel back and forth to Durban for check ups.  I anticipate seeing the doctor every 4-6 weeks early on, until maybe August or September, when we’ll have to go more regularly to check things like blood pressure, etc.  Hopefully after my first appointment, we’ll have a good idea on what the doctor is thinking and we can proceed from there.

Another serious concern for our accessibility to medical care is the border gate.  The nearest border to South Africa is closed from 6pm-6am daily.  The only border which is open 24 hours is the border at the capital city, which is 5-6 hours drive from here.  Using that boarder would send us to Bloemfontein.  

Thus our only real option is to head out significantly before the baby is due and await the birth.  We anticipate spending the month of October waiting for Baby in Durban.  Because Ellee came two weeks early and Kyle came five days late, it is totally impossible to know what this baby may or may not do.  It is, of course, our hope that Baby will come a bit early so we aren’t waiting for what feels like forever away from home.  But only God knows if that will happen.  

Right now all I can really think about is how miserably sick I am.  I’m not sick quite like I was with Ellee, less vomiting this time.  But goodness am I sick and my family is sick of me.  I’m not coping very well.  I am so eager to get past these awful weeks and enjoy being pregnant and feel like I have a better handle on life.

It won't be such a bad place to have a baby.

~Abby

Happy Tuesday (Give-Away)!

Personally, I like Mondays.  Mondays around here mean a clean house, washed laundry and date night with my husband.  However, I’ve noticed a lot of people who down Monday.  Sometimes I feel bad for Monday.  And honestly, I meant to post this yesterday on Monday but it got away from me and now I find myself in Tuesday.  Thus, Happy Tuesday!

When my mom came a few months ago, she brought me four coasters as my birthday present.  I always struggle trying to figure out what to request as a special occasion gift.  Christmas and birthdays and anniversaries are fun, but I always find I don’t need a single thing.  A little thoughtful gift is more satisfying to me than anything expensive or extravagant.  Unless it was a trip to an exotic island, then I’d be totally game.  If someone wants to give me one of those, please go right ahead.  But I digress.  When I saw the photos she picked for these, I couldn’t help but tear up.  My favorite places from home all of which I miss and can’t wait to visit again.  

The first is the most beautiful street in my home town.  I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t love this road.  It’s also where we had some of our wedding party pictures taken.  Gorgeous!

The second is the view from the porch of my grandparents' beach condo.  All my life I have enjoyed visiting their NC beach.  It is quiet, calm and relaxing.  As a kid, I used to watch my grandmother fish and we used to beg my granddad to take us to the hot tub.  I remember watching my granddad prepare the freshly caught fish and enjoying it home fried by my grandmother.  I have such fond memories of visiting there.

The third is a beautiful photo from our family vacation in Blue Ridge.  We have gone twice now to a cabin as a giant family.  Autumn is my favorite season.  The rainbow of changing leaves and the smell of bonfires is something I truly miss here.  Our third visit is already scheduled for early next year.  With a family as big as ours, we need a giant place to all stay under one roof.  Being together is such a special thing.  We enjoy cooking, game playing and sightseeing together.  

The last is a photo of my grandparents’ house in North Georgia.  I always look forward to going to their house and swinging on the front porch swing.  I know their 50 acres well from countless walks through the woods.  When we were kids, we used to climb trees, play hide and seek, and have three-legged races in the yard.  Their log cabin is homey and welcoming and I love visiting there.

I use my coasters for tea time.  Whenever I set my mug down, I decide where I’m going to have tea that day.  The beach?  The mountains?  At home?  My new favorite tea is this chai rooibos my mom found while she was here.  I’ve always enjoyed the smell of chai tea but I had never had it because I don’t drink caffeinated drinks.  However, the rooibos chai is decaf!  It is great with a bit of milk and sugar.

If you’d like to receive some chai rooibos along with some genuine english toffees, just comment on the blog or on the link and tell me your favorite place to relax.  The beach?  The mountains?  With family?  At home?  I’ll do a random drawing and post the winner soon.  Then I’ll walk to the Mokhotlong post office and mail out your package.  We’ll cross our fingers that it will have a safe and successful journey across the pond!  Happy tea time!

~Abby

Vacation Plan B

Months ago while in Durban, Jonathan picked up a pamphlet for a set of holiday cottages on a lake about three hours from Mokhotlong.  Upon inquiring about prices, we decided we would go for a vacation after peak season ended.  After spending Christmas and New Years without our extended family in the US, we felt it would be nice to have something special to look forward to as a family.

A couple weeks before we were booked to go, we started throwing around the idea of asking our neighbors to join us.  We had gathered that they also wanted to take a vacation during the school break and thought we could enjoy some time away together.  Because of the school schedule, we had to adjust our dates and plans a bit but we were able to settle on four nights in side-by-side cottages.  Each cottage came with a row boat and we decided to grill out every night for dinner.  We were all so excited!

And we're off!

So early one morning we packed up and set off.  When we arrived at the top of Sani Pass, the mountain road we use to get out of Mokhotlong to the east, we were informed that the pass had washed away.  At first I thought it was a joke.  How could it just fall off?  It is unpaved and even in good conditions it isn't a pleasant road to drive.  However, heavy rains and hail created a serious land slide.  We went down the first two curves and were stopped by all the taxis which had pulled over.  We got out and peered over.  Sure enough, there was no road.  Because it was still raining and foggy, we couldn't photograph it.  There were people walking down on foot with their belongings to catch another taxi at the bottom.  That wasn't an option for us.  So we turned around and started the one and a half hours back home.  We were all so deflated!

I was most disappointed for Kyle and Joy (our neighbors' daughter).  Kyle kept saying, "I am so sad we can't go to our boat vacation."  Joy, who had chattered excitedly the whole way to the pass, barely said a word all the way back to Mokhotlong.  From the looks of it, we were sure it would take at least a few days, if not longer, to fix the road.  As we drove back, I started pondering our options for going towards the west using the other road out of Mokhotlong.  We already knew of a few places we might be able to stay, if they had availability, about four/five hours from here.  After running the idea by our friends, we inquired about a place I found online and booked for that night!

"Ummm....

....Are we there yet?"

We got back in the car and drove the five hours down to our new vacation destination.  What a long day that was!  We finally arrived and my kids were absolute troopers in the car all eight hours of traveling.  What was meant to be a quick, three hour drive down to our closest town turned into an eight hour tour of half the country.  Our vacation began at the grocery to pick up things we can't get in Mokhotlong.  Then we crept along an extremely dark highway trying to find the place.  Finally we succeeded.  And we all crashed for the night!

"See, Mom, I got out of the tree all by myself!"

Studying under the willow tree

Ellee is completely smitten with Ntate and Mme Mosoang.  

We ended up on a quiet farm in the lowlands, each family with our own cottage.  We grilled our dinners every night and had fun playing some football (soccer) in the yard around the farm. There were two ponies and a donkey for the kids to visit just outside our front door!  The kids enjoyed splashing in the pool and we did a little shopping and sightseeing in the small towns nearby.  Our days were spent relaxing mostly, napping and just playing with the kids.  Although it wasn't exactly the lakeside holiday we had been looking forward to, it was still delightful.  And because this place was cheaper, we stayed five nights instead of four.

Beautiful patio overlooking the South African countryside.

"Look, Mom!"

This child was almost to the top of the ladder before we realized she had gone anywhere.  A monkey!

One morning we went to a tourist site only about ten minutes from where we were staying.  It is the end of a gigantic underground tunnel which stretches 90 km from high in the Lesotho mountains down to the lowlands in Orange Free State.  The tunnel was drilled for the purpose of exporting water from Lesotho to South Africa.  Dams are being built within Lesotho to further direct water sources to export tunnels.  I was completely fascinated by the size of the tunnel and the amount of water rushing out!

A piece of the tunnel to give you an idea of the size.  There was a plaque that said three people had died during the drilling and placement of it.  

Having our friends with us was such a treat.  It was just like we'd hoped.  Company for meal times and board games but also totally laid back and relaxed.  I think they really enjoyed the time away from the day-in-day-out life of Mokhotlong.  We all joked that it was nice just to not have anyone knocking at our doors for one reason or the other (a common occurrence here morning, noon and night).  As we were leaving, they suggested as long as we are in Lesotho, it must now be a tradition that we plan at least one family holiday together per year.  We agreed.

~Abby

Shepherds of Men

The past two days we have had the honor of hosting a group of outstanding young men.  The shepherd TIMO (Training In Mission Outreach) team stopped by our house yesterday and again today during a jaunt to a far-out village.  These guys are the cream of the crop, let me tell you, and they mean business - about food and the Gospel.

Left to right : Sam, TIMO team leader from England; Chris, South African born, now an English citizen; Mark, Montana, USA; Caleb, Pennsylvania, USA; Tobias, Germany; Spencer, Iowa, USA.

In November, three Americans, one German and one South-African-turned-British came to Lesotho to spend two years living among and witnessing to the Basotho shepherds.  The shepherds are a subculture within the Basotho people who live in the rural mountains, herding flocks and surviving under extremely difficult circumstances.  Oftentimes shepherds are ostracized as outsiders and there are social and geographical blocks to reaching them with the gospel.  Here shepherds are largely illiterate; their traditions are to sing songs and tell stories as a way of passing along important information.  The TIMO team came to impart a set of Bible stories which were developed by two female AIM (Africa Inland Mission) missionaries and translated into Sesotho.  Because the shepherds are exclusively men, typically between 18-35, AIM intended to send young men to live and work with them.  This group of guys signed up for two years of extreme living.  We (Jonathan and I) are truly challenged by their courage and commitment to the gospel.

There is something of a gaping hole in the missional community where young men are concerned.  It is commonly known that the missional force is largely made up of single women and older couples.  It does seem that the trends are changing and we know a significant number of young families on the field.  However, the number of single missionary guys we know could be counted on one hand.  Until we met all these guys.  They are serious about what they’ve come to do and we are so proud of them.

Their living conditions are even more isolated and primitive than I think I can accurately depict.  Obviously, I haven’t lived where they are living.  However, we pass by the area in the vast, seemingly uninhabited mountains where they stay, during our trips in and out of Mokhotlong.  Their huts are only about three feet high with a thatched roof and just an elevated space for sleeping.  The shepherds (Basotho shepherds and the TIMO team alike) have nothing but the clothes on their back, the blankets they wear for warmth and shield from the sun, and a spoon for eating their breakfast and dinner.  Both meals consist of a thick maize meal called pap and occasionally some wild greens they find growing nearby where they live.  They drink water from the streams around their huts.  I do believe they have a bar of soap but judging by how the guys looked when they showed up at my house and how my sink looked after they washed their hands, they must not invest too much time in utilizing it.  That’s okay.  As I see it, why bother?

From sunup to sundown these guys are outdoors.  They are working to learn Sesotho so they can better communicate with their shepherd neighbors.  They hike up and down mountains, play a familiar game amongst the shepherds with sticks and rocks, sing, read and sometimes nap while out on herd duty.  In the mornings and evenings, they take turns making the fire to cook their pap.  It’s as if they are on a two-year long extremely difficult camping trip.  But a camping trip with an eternal purpose.

Every forth week of the month, the team leaves their post, called a motebong, in the mountains and retreats to a house in Clarens, South Africa.  Their TIMO team leaders also live Clarens and facilitate their travel and work with the TIMO program.  In Clarens, the guys can shower, eat whatever they want, watch a movie or just take a nap in a real bed.  They also have internet access during that time to contact their loved ones back home.  Because TIMO is focused on mission training, there is also a curriculum that goes along with the program.  The guys are reading some of their assignments while at the cattle posts, and completing the rest of their assignments while in South Africa.

The guys were at our house for breakfast on Thursday morning, so we invited a few of our closest friends here in Mokhotlong to meet and visit with them.  The team arrived fully clad in shepherd attire, although they’d ditched their blankets and boots for coming indoors.  I made up 24 egg/cheese/bacon mini-quiches in my muffin pans.  Then I made two loaves of fresh bread and cut up a whole bowl worth of fresh fruit.  We served that along with all the drinks we could come up with here in Mokhotlong : juice, hot tea, coffee, Coke, water, ginger beer (like ginger ale), Mountain Dew, sweet tea and milk.  It was absolutely demolished.  Then they set off to their village destination about four hours from here.  Jonathan was able to join them and enjoyed his time getting to know them all a bit better.

Kyle making sure everyone had a car to play with.

Breakfast grub

Turns out Tobias already knew our neighbor/friend Ntsimane

Eating and catching up on the Africa Cup of Nations soccer tournament.

Upon their return yesterday afternoon, I served up Double Doozies per Kyle’s suggestion.  After those vanished, I made up some soft pretzels and they were also gone in no time. Apparently eating pap (think really thick grits) breakfast and dinner can leave some people hungry for comfort food.  I specialize in comfort food so I was happy to oblige.  At least we could send the guys off with bellies full of American junk food and prayers for a successful ministry at the motebong.  

We will see the guys again in a couple weeks at our quarterly AIM-Lesotho prayer day.  I’ve been assigned to making treats for tea time.  Now I’ve got to pull some more tricks out of my sleeve and I will obviously have to make at least twice as much as I was originally expecting.  I see a lot of pans of brownies in my future…  Happily.  It is a privilege to serve those who are giving so much for others.  Do join us in praying for the Lesotho shepherd TIMO team.

~Abby

To read more about the Basotho shepherds, check out Jonathan's research paper he wrote for one of his seminary requirements.

Boukje's Curry

My friend, Boukje (BOW-key-ya) makes the best curry.  Well the truth is, I think it’s the only curry I’ve ever had.  But it’s seriously the best.  During our transition from Maseru to Mokhotlong, we stayed with these dear friends for nearly a month while trying to settle our furniture shipments.  When I asked if we could stay short term in their guest flat, I wasn’t expecting it to last four weeks.  And at that point, we barely knew each other!  You know those people who just feel like family from day one?  They are that kind.  The best kind, really.  Great friends and great curry-- it doesn’t get much better than that.

A lot of times I make concoctions up for dinner straight out of my head.  A little of this, a little of that-- I’m always tweaking something.  My Aunt is famous for doing this and we’ve actually turned her name into a verb.  So, just about every recipe in my book gets Lynned one way or the other.  Sometimes I follow the recipe 100%, especially if it’s something I am trying for the first time. But often I make changes out of necessity.

I seriously shake my head at comments on recipes I read online.  Some people review recipes that are completely different from the one listed. “I substituted apples for the peaches, zucchini for the carrots, I didn’t have any cream cheese so I just omitted that and I added 3 extra teaspoons of cinnamon.”  Before you know it, they’ve change apple-carrot cake with cream cheese frosting to peach zucchini casserole with a side of cinnamon.  It’s ridiculous.  However, other recipe comments make me shake my head for a different reason.  Yesterday I was reading the recipe for a pie.  The recipe listed the ingredients and steps to make your own pie shell.  A commenter asked, “Can I use a store bought pie shell instead?”  Seriously?  Do you even need to ask that question?  How would a home-made or store-made pie crust make any difference at all in the big scheme of making a pie?  Certainly the homemade would probably taste better and is better for you, but they are both pie shells.  C’mon people, get with the program!  You can make a few cooking decisions on your own. 

Sorry. I digress.

When Boukje first tried to show me how to make the curry it was literally just a handful of this and that and the other thing and put the lid on.  I was totally intimidated.  She kept telling me it was easy, but I kept telling her I didn’t even know what went in it!  So, she showed me all the spices and the steps and I eventually got her to write down loose measurements. Well, what do you know?  It IS easy!  Of course I didn’t have all the exotic spices that she used, so I promptly went out and bought them.  It’s that good and I wanted mine to be just exactly the same.

Here you have it, Boukje’s Curry:

Start by frying a chopped onion in a large (preferably cast iron or very sturdy) pot in olive oil over medium heat.  Then add 3 cloves of roughly chopped garlic and about a half inch of grated fresh ginger and stir for a minute. Then add meat.  I used about a pound of stewing lamb w/ bones.  I don’t really like to cook with bone-in meat as a general rule but Boukje convinced me it is better in this instance to have meat with some fat and bone for flavor.  You could also use stewing beef or even some bone-in skinless chicken thighs.  Stir the meat a little and add curry powder.  I used about 2 tsp of a medium curry powder and another tsp of this Masala stuff someone gave me.  Frankly I have no idea if there is any difference at all.  I suppose any curry powder will do.  Stir that around a bit.  Turn your heat down to low.  Now, from this point on, absolutely no stirring.  Got it?  Don’t stir.  Don’t even think about it.  This is why you need a sturdy pot. 

Now you add 4 peeled and chopped potatoes.  Then throw in  3 or 4 (depending on size) roughly chopped tomatoes.  Then sprinkle some salt and pepper.  Then, are you ready for this?  Give a good shake of fennel seeds.  Another good shake of coriander seeds.  Put in a cinnamon stick.  Add two of the stars.  And add maybe 5-8 cardamom pods.  Put the cinnamon, stars and cardamom all in the same spot so you can fish them out easier later on.  Put the lid on.  Walk away and come back in two hours.

Now that you are drooling from the wonderful aroma in your house, you can come back and open the lid.  Take out the cinnamon, stars and cardamom.  Now give it all a good whirl and have a taste.  I wanted mine a bit spicier so I added some red pepper flakes and it needed some more salt so I added that.  I let it simmer with the lid off while I cooked my rice and then we devoured it.  Best served with a side of Greek yogurt with diced cucumbers and fresh cilantro. 

Oil

1 onion

3 cloves garlic

1 inch fresh grated ginger

1 lb stewing meat

4 potatoes, peeled and chopped

3-4 tomatoes, chopped

3+/- tsp curry powder

3/4 tsp salt

1 tsp fennel seeds

1 tsp coriander seeds

1 cinnamon stick

2 star anise

1 tsp cardamom pods

1/2 tsp red pepper flakes, if desired

1/2 tsp freshly ground black pepper

Fry onion in oil until soft.  Add garlic and ginger, fry 1 minute.  Add meat and curry powder and stir.  Add potatoes, tomatoes and spices DO NOT stir and cook on low heat for 2 or more hours.  When ready, pull out the cinnamon, star anise and cardamom.  Also remove any bones from the meat.  Adjust spices to taste.  Serve with rice and cucumber salad.

~Abby